What’s wrong?

I used to work in Action Learning where I learned about the power of open questions. So it suddenly came to be that instead of walking around feeling dissatisfied, it would be a good idea to ask what is wrong.

1. Separation – the distance between myself and my husband is not working well for us. There is the pressure to find a new home which merely replaces the search that went before. Currently, we are all about what needs sorting and not about enjoying and relating to each other. This leads to tension inevitably which upsets both of us.

Action point – secure a new home soon.

2. Lack of friends – this is a big one for me. The truth is that when you spend your days at home, making friends is not going to happen except online. I think initial answers to getting out may involve volunteering and/or study. Where that takes place should follow on from where we find a new home.

Action point – stop accepting a lack of friends as my lot in life and start doing something about it.

3. Self-image – I am fat and frumpy. This is not good physically but also drags me down mentally on bleaker days. I know how to lose weight and I can do that. I actually believed they might have cut me out of the Tesco Mum of the Year Awards television coverage for being too ugly. That is very flawed thinking and in fact I did appear. I saw myself as perhaps others do and liked my new hair do and colour and my sensitive face. Someone told me I had very lovely skin this week and I was ridiculously thrilled with that. Perhaps I should start pointing out my good bits instead of bad bits.

Action point – commence a healthy eating and fitness plan. Accentuate the positive.

4. Making a difference in the world – I have always wanted to do this. I feel I need a new cause to get my teeth into. Charity, politics, something.

Action pint – investigate who or what could make use of my skills

5. Turn back to life

I came across a sympathy card amongst mum and dad’s things. Perhaps since Mum made that telephone call 5 years ago, I have been guilty of turning away from life a bit/a lot. Perhaps I found this card or it was left for me at just the right time. I find it a very powerful message and just need to work out the full meaning. How can I comfort hearts and what are those dear unfinished tasks?

Action point – turn back to life. Carry on the legacy of Mum and Dad.

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4 Comments

  1. Ojo Henley April 3, 2014 / 3:08 pm

    I really think you should focus on number 1, then do the others when you are settled (except for the healthy eating, it’s always good to look after yourself).
    As for friends, some of my best friends I’ve barely met! (Yes, that includes you…….giving you the BIGGEST cwch at britmums, you beautiful lady) xx
    Ojo Henley recently posted…Reasons to be CheerfulMy Profile

  2. Looking for Blue Sky April 4, 2014 / 8:11 am

    Delighted that you have worked out what is wrong and can see how to make yourself feel better about your life x
    Looking for Blue Sky recently posted…The legacyMy Profile

  3. Jeannette @autismmumma April 8, 2014 / 8:18 pm

    I love the idea of action points, very positive the way it can force you to think of resolutions. Def agree, get number one sorted and others should fall into place.

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