I have felt a bit out of sorts for a few weeks. Always moody, my emotions have gone all over the place. I seem hyper-sensitive and this does not make for happy times particularly with Him Indoors.
I saw my GP about 2 weeks ago and he prescribed some anti-depressants and gave me details of counselling services. I sensed there was a whole new world waiting for me. That same day I became ill and it ruined my Half-Term break in Yorkshire. Eventually I ended up at hospital and the nurse looked so concerned and told me there was a real risk I was diabetic and that I should seek my own GP’s advice as a matter or urgency. To cut a long story short, a huge big reason to be cheerful today is that having had just about every blood test available to womankind, it appears I am physically fine. This also means I can start taking the anti-depressants as I did not want to take them until diabetes had been ruled out. It also means that I can reward a generous fate by finally sorting out my weight issues.
This week I also took time out to apply myself and to pursue a dream. I feel proud of myself and as ever bloggers showed themselves incredibly supportive. I am writing that novel at last and really committing to doing hundreds and thousands of words every day. My mum’s legacy can be more than a blog even if I end up self-publishing.
Today we went for a walk. I asked the children to look out for certain colours and numbers. We took photographs of our findings. They seemed to like this game. We went to the shop for some treats and got into a really amusing conversation about Frozen with the male shop assistant. I found myself bantering and giggling and it felt good.
I have moved forwards in making links with home education groups and we have plans to attend one next week. It will be good for the children and if I can overcome my shyness, it will be great for me too.
My son turns 14 at the weekend. I am looking forward to treating him. I am blessed with a sensitive, kind-hearted, intelligent and funny boy. He made me smile this week when his teacher told him “You have a very unique perspective on the world”. That’s my boy and I love him. There is a photo of me when I had given birth to him and my smile is so beautiful and you can see the happiness oozing out of me. Time for me to get back to that and if that means popping a pill and talking to a counsellor, so be it. Why do I always have to the strong one?