When I was at home with the children during the day, I used to dream and plan what I would do when they went to school. Those would be the days of freedom and of moving my life forwards.
When my youngest son started school, I was advised to just relax for a year. Looking back, I don’t think that was the best advice.
When you have had years and years of your life consisting only of cleaning and childcare, rediscovering yourself is a challenge.
You have the day available from half past eight in the morning until a quarter to four in the afternoon. Hours when you could be doing something constructive. So why does it not happen?
It might sound extreme but apparently when lifers (prisoners with life sentences) go from closed conditions to open prisons, many refuse to go very far at all in the prison grounds never mind further afield. Their comfort zone has become limited after years of confinement. They can only take a few steps day by day. Having worked in prisons, this is not me talking daft by the way. It is a recognised phenomena. I think this happens to some stay at home mums too when presented with time and freedom.
On Coronation Street this week, Katie said how she could not even remember what music she liked after just a few weeks of parenting. What happens 2 years, 5 years or 10 years later?
In September, I set up Groovy Mums and that has certainly helped me move forwards. Whether it has helped others seems a little unclear to me at the moment.
So there is progress but there are too many days that drift. Today and this is very unusual these days, I stayed in my pyjamas until 4 in the afternoon. Nothing to do, nowhere to go, why bother? I dug deep and now am changed into clean clothes and smelling rather lovely if I do say so myself.
I wonder whether I should set myself timetables for day like I would if I was in a job. Otherwise, it is way too easy for life to consist of housework and daytime telly.
Even when I think about writing the timetable, it feels daunting. How do I fill my days with positive things? Which is odd because I know I want to walk, exercise, read, plan a business and so on.
Does anyone else have days that just seem to drift away with nothing much achieved? How can that be changed?