It is 2012 and this year I commit to responding to the Groovy Mums challenges.
1. Lotions and Potions – To be honest, in the grip of post-natal depression, my whole self-maintenance routine took a nosedive. Probably best not to go into details (disgustingly yucky) but there was not an awful lot of self-love going on. Things have improved but post-natal depression’s aftermath does not quit on the day you notice the sunlight again. If only it was so simple! I was never that much of a pamper myself type of girl anyway. Since starting the journey into the groove, little signs appear in my bathroom that suggest I am making an investment in the physical side of me. New body sprays, different deoderant, bubble baths and soaps. I won £150 worth of beauty creams last year and they still remain unused. Perhaps I should have a go with them if only to experiment a bit. I think part of getting the groove back might involve trying new behaviours just for the hell of it. What do you think?
2. The very wonderful women who link up with Groovy Mums are struggling with my challenge to list the best things about themselves. Lord knows why as they are all absolutely fabulous. I had better have a go myself to show them how it is done. Physcially, I have always had a good skin and hair that one Groovy Mum tells me has a va-va voom all of its own. The love of my life told me I had very feminine wrists, not the most normal compliment but hey, we will throw that in the mix too. I don’t have a hourglass figure but I do as an old friend once said go in and out at the right places and have a booty worth of those seaside postcards. My son tells me that I have eyes that give hope. Isn’t that just amazingly lovely of him? My daughter tells me that I am the best mum in the world and my other son tells me that I help people. My husband said I am sexy and when pushed for a more realistic answer said I am a very determined person. What do I think of myself on the positive side? I know that I really do care about people and like to go the extra mile for them. I know I gave up the chance to make huge amounts of money feeling I would be more useful on the frontline making a difference. I know I gave Him Indoors faith in himself for the first time in many years and that led to great things for him. I know I cocked up with my step-daughters but that I did dig deep to try to do my best by them. I know that when the missing child returns home to her birth father, she will get a very warm welcome. I know I am the child that cares for my Dad whilst my brothers get on with their own lives. I know I am shy and yet I will push myself to try the really scary stuff. I know I have walked on fire and did it with huge aplomb. I did throw myself into that boudoir photography session too despite wearing the carpet out before knocking on the door to the venue. I have passion. I have wit. I can be naughty but also very nice. To summarise, I ain’t all that bad, not really. I also have a high IQ apparently which does make me question how come I have got into so many scrapes over the years. I know whilst being a chaotic mum, I do tell my children every day how much they are loved. I teach them how to care for others and how to aspire and not necessarily to what society will try to force them into. I am creative and very much an ideas person. I challenge authority and authority doesn’t always like that but it so needs that kicking of the ass. Hey, once you start, you really can think of positives about yourself.
3. It is World Religion Day this week. I was brought up a Roman Catholic. A counsellor I had in my early twenties told me all Catholics have an A-Level in guilt. Is mine compounded by hearing from being a toddler that it was important to my birth mum that I kept the faith? I stopped going to church when I had my first son and he made a noise in church and there were so many funny looks. I would sort of like to go back to church if I am honest. I see my Dad go early on Sunday mornings and would quite like to join him. I think he would like it too which is good enough for me.
4. What good can I do with my blog? I think I have already really helped people in terms of being honest and telling it how it is for me. That seems to free other people up to do the same. I am not alone with my thoughts and feelings. I also want to help good causes and try to feature them on the blog when I can. I am hoping to do so much more. Watch this space!
Oh, and Groovy Mums is the most lovely thing really for both myself and those who join in.
5. The big question is who can I ask to help? In the home, I really do need to get more input from family members in housework and so on. 90 per cent of it falls on me and then I end up getting resentful. You don’t want to know me when I am feeling that way. I throw a fit, I blast, I am not nice at all. On the work front, I need to say that there are issues in the past that are holding me back. It is OK to ask for help with references and the like. I made big progress on this one recently. I have also received help from bloggers and the Groovy Mums when struggling with relationship issues.
Early this morning, things seemed bleak. I feel much better now. We went to the most depressing town on God’s earth today but managed to have some quality family time of a sort. Dancing on Ice is back on the telly. I have a little tipple at my side and I am still blogging. Him Indoors loves me perhaps in a totally cack-handed way but the feeling is still there. My children adore me. The outside world has started to beckon too and the application for a driving licence is in the post (Thank you Polly!).
It could well be that I am getting into the groove. How about you?