I claim that this blog is open and hearfelt and yet I hide a truth.
Why do I do that?
Because I can’t quite believe it, because yet again I have been taken in, because it embarrasses me?
I don’t want you to know that I am perceived as useless and worthless? Ugly, not good enough. A countless range of better options for them.
I am tired of being blamed for everything and found wanting. Every little perceived flaw being highlighted but all my efforts being ignored.
There is a world out there that tells me I am at least OK and soemtimes good.
In the inner world, I don’t measure up. I get mistreated and demeaned. Apparently, if this is not a woman’s lot in life, it is mine.
Me! The one who thought I would break the mould and make the grade. How very ironic?
I cry, I feel sad, I lose hope.
I am not good enough.
Who am I trying to kid? If those closest to me do not value me, why try and impress others?
There are those who are loved, geniunely and wholeheartedly and then there are people like me who don’t quite measure up.