Do you ever fear as a mum that you are not up to the task?
I remember finding establishing sleep patterns difficult and don’t even get me started on potty training, discipline and so much more besides.
I am a mummy who loves her children very much indeed. I am not a mummy who glides gracefully through it all. Are there any out there really?
My current difficulties is the sudden change in my 11 year old son. Overnight, he has gone from Mr Sweet and Sensitive to Mr Angry and By the Way It’s All Your Fault Mum!
Of course, he is still lovely. His outbursts tend to be short-lived and followed by hugs and a reflection on what has gone wrong.
It is not easy for him. He is a bright boy and quite shy which does not make for popularity in the school playground. He has lots of experience of being bullied, the sanction imposed on those of us who insist on being ourselves.
He resents his younger brother and sister and will say categorically that I should never have had other children. He veers between wanting them as playmates and rejecting them totally.
He will come out with illogical statements. I am accused of being in London all the time. The truth is in the last few years, I have gone to London just twice and only for one day each time. He has a big issue with Twitter and my blogging taking time away from him. This I can take on board and ensure that these things do not intrude on his time,
He wants to play but do I really have to succumb to the dubious delights of the X-Box? Perhaps the truth is that I do.
I worry that he is too like me and will give himself a hard time. Trying to protect him, I am sure sometimes I say totally the wrong thing. I hear myself coming out with homespun wisdom that as well as being rubbish also sounds uncannily like my own mother.
Is angst just part of growing up? He has a Mum and Dad who are together. He has a Dad who works. In many ways, he is better off than many children.
I need to help him navigate the difficult years ahead.
Am I up to the task?
I hope so because I love him very much indeed.