Money worries and their emotional impact

Money worries are something I know a lot about. Over the years I have had my own and as a debt counsellor, I have helped so many families and individuals get out of debt and manage their finances better.

One thing that always strikes me is how troublesome the emotions around money worries and debt issues can be. It is so difficult to take practical action when you are in a blind panic as to who will knock on the door next, what threatening letter will appear in the post and how you are going to manage to put on a show at Christmas for the kids.

Money worries

I asked some parents to describe their feelings when bills are high and income sometimes does not cover basis expenditure.

“When money is tight I feel suffocated and overwhelmed.” –  Kirsty

Money Worries

“I have a mental money line beneath which I get extremely stressed” – Kati

Debt problems

“I hate being in debt and wish I could be done with it once and for all” –  Claire

“I hate having money worries. When I do I am in a bad mood and miserable” –  Victoria

“Money worries can leave you feeling very lonely. When my wife was pregnant with our third child and had stopped working I didn’t want to tell her we were falling more and more into debt” -. Peter

“Completely out of my depth and very uptight” – Kimberley

Stuck

“I feel awful that we are having to be so tight with money Myself and my husband work 4 jobs between us and we still have to tell the girls no. As a parent it really hurts” -. Jade

“I hate it. It make me fell like all my options, choices and freedoms belong to somebody else like I have to justify every treat or non-essential item to some invisible banker. It makes me feel like I have no control over my future” – Luschka

Using my experience as a debt counsellor, I have put together a little money plan that will help people take baby steps to tackle money trouble. Subscribe to my blog and I will send you this resource.  This is free of charge and just might help you get on track to solving those money issues once and for all

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A Blogging Good Time

The Pramshed

Getting over post-natal depression

Getting over post-natal depression is possible and I really want women to know that as I know how truly awful the condition can be. I am writing this post to talk about some of the signs of post-natal depression that families, friends and colleagues can look for, I will also highlight some of the tools that can help a mum going through post-natal depression. I am hoping that mums who are starting to recover but might not feel that will be given hope by this post as highlight some of the signs mums are on the mend.

Getting Over Post-Natal Depression

Signs of post-natal depression

Poor personal hygience
Finding it hard to throw the duvet back in the morning
Never getting thrilled about anything
Seeking out darkness
Being scared of other people

Things that help women in getting over post-natal depression

Online support via social networks and mum groups like Net Mums and Mumsnet
Baby steps and not expecting too much of yourself
Writing or blogging it out can be helpful

Talking therapies

Getting Over Post-Natal Depression

Medication

What happens when you start to recover from post-natal depression?

Even in tiny ways you will start to feel like a somebody rather than a nobody. It is so easy to lose sight of yourself as a mum.
Tackling health issues such as needing to lose weight or gain weight
Investing in treats for yourself
Looking after yourself
Not accepting everything people dump on you
Noticing light and that there really is one at the end of the tunnel
You realize your story can help others
You stop always putting other people first
You start to say yes to positive experiences rather than hiding from them
You know you can make a fresh start
Expressing your thoughts and feelings and saying what you need
Recognizing your own talents, skills qualities and achievements
You realize you are not alone
You stop self-medicating with booze or other negative influences

Is it worth seeking help for post-natal depression?

There is lots of help out there both medication and talking therapies – neither define you as bad or mad although your poor friend depression might try to convince you of that until you get better
You will enjoy parenting in a much fuller way when you start to recover.
You will also be a better parent to your children although you are a good enough mum right now
You can make up for the dark days by making new and positive memories for you and yours

What needs to change?

Better recognition of the signs of post-natal depression
More resources for mental health services
More recognition and support for mums in the workplace

I know about getting over post-natal depression because I have done it but it was a long battle and I want to speed the recovery period up for other mums if I am able to do so.

 

 



Post Comment Love
Twin Mummy and Daddy

9 tips for attending a blogging event

I was recently asked to share my tips for attending a blogging event.

Does Blogging Make You Feel Less Alone

“Dear Kate on thin ice,

This will sound really silly but I have blogged for a year or so and made some good online friends. I have seen the adverts for blogging events like BritMums Live 17. I would love to attend one day to meet people in the real world and to learn more about blogging. However, I get really anxious in social situations and just think I will be left standing on my own feeling isolated and stupid.”

Dear Bricking It Blogger,

Thanks for getting in touch. The first thing to say is that your feelings are completely normal and opening up about them in a brave first step. You obviously really want to go deep down or you would not have put pen to paper about the situation. Here are my top tips based on personal experience and from talking with other bloggers.

It’s not all about you!

1. Instead of focusing on what ifs which involve you having a terrible time or making a fool of yourself, focus on the what ifs that see you making a new friend, having a giggle and just feeling like a person in your own right for a change.

2. Read about the experiences of other bloggers and you might realise just how many feel like you or have done so in the past.

3. Could you reach out to a blogger that you could travel with or at least meet up with to enter the venue together? It’s a courageous step but you could be doing that blogger a huge favour too.

Seek support

4. If you really want to go for it. contact the event organisers and ask if you could have a role at the conference perhaps on reception or even hosting a workshop. Often if we have a role, we can hide behind that label a bit.

5. Read up the facts about social anxiety and find out how you can take baby steps to overcome it.

The event itself

6. On your way to the event, perhaps read an inspirational book. I find “Feel the Fear” by Susan Jeffers very simple but also very powerful.

7. When you get to the event, look out for people who are on their own or trying to merge into a wall. A really good place to find the nervous tribe is in the loos! That is why they get so crowded!

8. If it all gets too much for you , build in breaks where you can go somewhere just to breathe and take things in a bit. You do not have to attend every aspect of blogging events.

9. Reflect that whatever your fears, it has to be worse to be sitting at home reading the social media updates from everyone who is there and having an amazing time.

The really great thing is that WHEN you go, you can come back here and say what worked best for you thereby helping others in the future.

Can anyone else share their tips for attending a blogging event to help a anxious blogger?



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Good reasons to get your car serviced

Reasons To Get Your Car ServicedGetting your car serviced so that you always have a smooth and safe ride if vital and all too easy to overlook in the business of life. So today I am sharing some good reasons to get your car serviced.

Learning from experience

My Dad always emphasized the importance of car servicing and I noticed that he usually passed his MOT easily and never ran up huge car repair bills unlike boyfriends who neglected to get their cars serviced.

Cars are complicated

A car is a complicated machine with many different compoments  such as the brakes, battery and exhaust. We look after our bodies so they perform better and cars also need us to look after them well for greater performance.

Modern cars

Modern cars are often fitted with a computer chip (the ECU ) which manages various aspects of the vehicle. It also collects information on events that occur as the car is driven. Garages have diagnostic equipment which can read the logs of issues that the ECU has recorded and this may prompt actions which may prevent failure at a later date.

So what do you do when the dreaded “Service Required” message appears? You can check your mileage against the manufacturer’s recommended service intervals

Where to get your car serviced

Local garages often offer a better level of customer service and you can build up a great relationship with  them so they know you as an individual and get to know your car too.

For example you could visit Ossett Tyre House  to avail of their car exhaust repair service in West Yorkshire.

Do I need to take my car to the dealer?

If your car is under warranty it is usually conditional on following the manufacturer’s service schedule but that doesn’t mean you must go to the main dealer. There are many specialists in various makes who will follow the specifications set by the manufacturer and stamp your service book. A local garage may also do the same if they have the diagnostic equipment. It is well worth building a relationship with your local garage so they know you, your car and you know what to expect from them