What are the things that make you tear your hair out as a woman and parent?

 

Things That Make You Tear Your Hair Out

A little online research tells me that “tearing your hair out” means to be extremely anxious, worried, frustrated, or stressed out about something. These are often the very topics my blog tries to help you with via tips, advice and a bit of friendly back-up in challenging times.

Here are some things that make you tear your hair out in the modern world.

1. Money

If you have money problems it can be difficult to focus on anything else. I am a former debt counsellor so I know that financial issues can be a threat to life itself both in terms of enjoying it and in extreme cases I have seen clients be actually suicidal as the pressure mounts.

2. Social media and blogging

As a long-term blogger, I see the benefits of social media and blogging and how they can be used as forces for good. However, they can also lead to people trying to live up with someone else’s edited highlights of their lives. You do not need to tear your hair out if you are not having perfect holidays, pristine houses and fancy cars. You just have to count your blessings and realise that you don’t know 100 per cent what lies behind an apparently perfect existence.

3. Work-life balance

As you try to sort your money issues out and live up to the Jones’, you may work long hours and find yourself missing out on memory-making and cherishing moments. If your work is stressing you out, question whether you are working too many hours or have found yourself in the wrong job. It really does not have to be this way.

4. Parenting

Parenting can be wonderful of course and is the most important job we will ever tackle. It is not easy though and will never work out entirely to plan. Perhaps you child will not meet milestones when some expert says they should. You may have a fussy eater or a child who takes an age to potty-train or wets the bed. You may not find it easy to help them with homework or to give the right advice when they come up against bullies in the playground. Siblings may fight and noise levels may go through the roof. You love them but a honest mum will admit there are times when it all gets a bit much.

How to get over things that make you tear your hair out

So what can we do when we are under such pressure? I would argue valuing our own wellbeing is essential and some well-timed self-care can make such a difference. It is OK to say you need a break and take one. It is fine to ask for support from those around you or outside agencies. Advice is readily available if we look for it as is support with mental health issues

So you can stop tearing your hair, forget the hair transplant cost unless you have a real issue with your hair and realise that you have the power to change your life for the better – you just have to decide you are so worth it!

What are the things that make you tear your hair out?

Mum Muddling Through
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You Baby Me Mummy

It is a common dilemma for women to struggle with their confidence and sense of self. Whether it’s wider social issues like equality in the workplace and gender stereotypes, or more personal struggles with the way you look and feel — instilling a sense of sense of confidence can be difficult. In fact, according to research conducted by Dove, 62 percent of girls feel insecure or not sure of themselves and only 4 percent of women considering themselves ‘beautiful,’ proving that this issue affects types of females. So if you’re feeling a little unsure of yourself, what can you do to boost your confidence? Let’s take a look at a few techniques.

Ways For Women To Boost Self-Esteem

1. Push Yourself Physically

It’s no secret that many self-esteem issues come from dissatisfaction with the way we look. Regular exercise not only is a great way to stay healthy and fit, but the activity actually reduces stress levels and stimulates happy hormones like dopamine, estrogen and serotonin. Whether it’s going to gym regularly, joining a sports team or training for a marathon, try and pick a form of exercise that you enjoy and can see yourself keeping up with. If you really want to test yourself, you could give some “man activities” a go, like hunting. Just grab the gear and prove that you can achieve anything. It will do wonders for your confidence.

2. Start Writing Things Down

Whether you keep a regular diary, write down your goals and positive affirmations every morning, or even write music; writing is a great way to get rid of negative energy and refocus yourself. A report by The University of Rochester Medical Center in fact found that journaling can reduce the symptoms of mental illnesses like anxiety and depression, because it helps you identify triggers and encourages positive self-talk. If you don’t enjoy writing everything down in a diary-style, then try keeping a notepad on your bed side, and writing down three things you love about yourself and three goals you have, every morning before starting your day. It will give you that positive kick you need.

3. Nurture Yourself

Sometimes a lack of confidence and anxiety can be a result of emotional build up in which you haven’t given yourself the time to relax and process certain situations. With many women living a busy life, taking care of yourself and giving yourself the chance to unwind and de-brief can often be a ritual that is overlooked. Be sure to treat yourself regularly to things that make you feel good. Whether it’s going shopping, getting a facial or going for a massage, putting yourself as priority and doing something to feel good can give you that boost of confidence you need. Another great way to nurture yourself is through meditation; by stimulating the prefrontal cortex that controls happiness, it reduces symptoms of stress and tension.

Every woman deserves to feel confident and strong, and sometimes it takes a little extra effort to feel good about yourself. Try out some of these techniques and notice the difference in your sense of self.

 

 

 

Cuddle Fairy

Here are some helpful suggestions if you are looking for mental health support.. They are there for you when you are struggling with mental health issues or care about someone who is ill. Let’s just establish loud and clear that mental health issues are just like any other health issue in that they are not the sufferer’s fault. They are either a response to external events or a change in all the chemical malarkey in the brain or quite possibly a mix of the two.

Mental Health Support

Mental health support

MIND – I remember as a child mum used to tell me some of our neighbours struggled with mental health issues and a few were hospitalized. Interestingly, she never spoke so openly when she was having troubles of her own with an abject fear of going out. I also remember her taking me to a MIND café probably because I think there was a charity shop attached. Anyway, I digress and MIND has gone from strength to strength with a handy A-Z of mental health  issues, information and local support.

Mental health support for children and young people

YOUNG MINDS – I first heard of Young Minds when my daughter was struggling in school due to bullies amongst the pupils but also the Head Teacher. I was looking into home education, joined some forums and someone pointed me to the Young Minds charity. Vitally they have a Parents Helpline because  there is no worse feeling in the world than worrying your child is going to harm themselves or someone help is already hurting them. They have national and more localised projects including ones on self-harm and solid support in working with schools to build pupil resilience.

Royal support

HEADS TOGETHER – At first I was cynical when I heard about Head Together thinking it was just a clever PR stunt for the Royal Family.  It seemed to take a while to get off the ground properly. However, it would take a very hard heart not to be impressed by Prince Harry talking about his own mental health struggles following the loss of his mother. It really is #OKtosay that all is not well as their conversation films demonstrate so well.

Mental health support by text

SANE provides support in a number of ways but I am particularly impressed that they have a forum and also a text care scheme so you can get back up to your phone just when you need it.

For those who care

CARERS UK is the one-stop shop for any carer looking for information, advice or products that might help their situation.

Depression and anxiety disorders are common mental disorders yet often don’t feel that way when we are struggling with them and feel so alone. More than 300 million people suffer from depression and 260 million are living with anxiety.

Mental health in the workplace is the theme of World Mental Health Day 2017. World Mental Health Day is observed on 10 October every year, with the overall objective of raising awareness of mental health issues and mobilizing efforts in support of better mental health.

Where do you go when you are looking for mental health support?

Mum Muddling Through
Cuddle Fairy
3 Little Buttons
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You Baby Me Mummy

Here’s a comforting butternut squash soup recipe perfect for chillier Autumn days.

Butternut Squash soup recipe

Butternut Squash Soup Recipe

INGREDIENTS:

1 large fresh squash

1 red bell pepper, chopped

1 medium yellow onion, chopped

3 cloves garlic, smashed and peeled

7 cups water

1 tablespoon salt

2 tablespoons sugar

 

1/2 cup heavy cream Fresh thyme sprigs, for garnish (optional)

Method

1. Combine all of the ingredients except for the heavy cream in a large soup pot. Bring to a boil, then cover and simmer for 35 minutes.

2. Using a hand-held immersion blender, purée the soup until silky smooth. (Alternatively, cool the soup slightly, then purée in a blender in batches, making sure to leave the hole in the lid open to allow the steam to escape.)

3. Stir in the heavy cream and bring to a simmer. Taste and adjust seasoning (depending on the sweetness of the vegetables, you may need up to a tablespoon more sugar).

4. Ladle the soup into bowls and garnish with fresh chopped thyme or thyme sprigs, if desired.

Founder of the Lexington brand, Kristina Lindhe comments: ‘’Why not set up the table outdoors on a warmer day? Grab your knitted sweater, a wool throw and enjoy! Don’t worry about making everything perfect- you can achieve a charming look with a few personal details such as decorating with seasonal greens and vegetables. A checked tablecloth, classic napkins and our Details collection will make everything perfect!’’

Leave a comment if you try the butternut squash soup recipe.

You Baby Me Mummy

The Happy Diet  is a four-week, step-by-step guide to a total happier existence available from Amazon from 29th September and written by Tamara Armstrong who has kindly shared her story with me.

Happy Diet

Tamara’s story

 

Looking back, there were many things that contributed to the decline of my mental health. At 14 and what is probably the most pivotal age with regards to development, I was sexually assaulted and because of how it happened I felt I had to keep it a secret.

I also had never met my biological father and having an absent parent often makes a child feel as though they did something wrong or were not good enough. Team those things together and you had one very hurt, angry and depressed little girl.

For years I battled my darkness on my own and it just existed silently in my mind. I am now a mother of 4 amazing children and it was shortly after the birth of my first son (12 years ago) and death of my brother that I finally sought help. I had never touched hard drugs but had always smoked cannabis because it helped to quieten my thoughts. However, it got to a point when it was no longer quietening them and something had to give.

So I started to see a drugs counsellor and after seeing him for about 8 months I finally hit rock bottom. Things were so bad, I didn’t want to exist anymore and I was on the verge of ending it all.

I called my counsellor the day I was going to kill myself and told him I wanted him to help me get care for my son and asked him to call child services. I think he knew what I was going to do and he asked me to go in and see him straight away.

That’s when he gave me the book that saved my life. He handed me a small book called ‘The Secret’ and begged me to read it. I went home and that night I sat on the floor of my bedsit kitchen and read the book cover to cover. The book changed EVERYTHING and in 4 hours my life was suddenly very different. I realised that we are the creators of our life and that we are the ones who have control over it. I realised I had caused all my own problems and as hard as that was to swallow, I had finally found hope because I knew that if I had caused it I could just as easily change it. From that moment everything was different. Something just clicked. I knew I couldn’t change the past but I felt powerful knowing I could change the future. I had spent so many years being angry and not living that I now wanted to know everything about being happy and living with love and purpose. 

10 years on from being on the most immense personal growth journey, I felt it was time to start helping others by sharing what I had learned. I didn’t want the pain I went through to be pointless, I wanted to use my knowledge and experience to help inspire others and give them hope. My book the Happy Diet is EVERYTHING I have learnt over the last 10 years that actually keeps you happy and sane.

 

Doctors are very quick to put us on medication that might not be needed if we all had the right tools to begin with. The book is like a giant tool box and even though it’s called  ‘The Happy Diet’,  it’s about a lot more than just food; it’s a way of living that will genuinely help people feel better mentally, physically and spiritually. Eating clean, meditation, yoga, gratitude, social media restrictions and television bans are just some of the wisdom I share in this book. People wonder why it is so cheap but as a single parent who has suffered mentally and never had much money, I know a lot of the people that need my book can’t afford it which is why I kept the price low-everyone deserves to be happy regardless of financial status.”

The Happy Diet

 

I am going to try out the book and report back because I like what Tamara has to say about the Happy Diet.

“I’ve discovered that finding true happiness doesn’t mean you have to crush your current life and rebuild it from the ground up, but instead make some simple shifts to a more mindful and active routine,” explains Armstrong. “The book walks readers through a host of incredibly easy changes to diet and perception, as well as some amazing mindfulness exercises and an exploration of “going vegan”. Everyone deserves to be happy, and this book is their blueprint.”

The Happy Diet’ £3.99 is available on Amazon from 29th September:  http://goo.gl/FaP9Jv

 

 

 

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

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