Here is my weekly update on how I am doing on the reviving my life front.
1. My provisional driving licence has not arrived from the DVLA. They are obviously as sure as I am that Iwill never learn to drive and are avoiding sending me at all costs. Either that or Him Indoors is having a panic attack at the very prospect of me getting behind the wheel and never posted it.
2. Following on from my visit to the local voluntary and community organisation in the local town last week, I have completed an application form to become a trustee. They say if you are no good as a trustee, they will look at you for other volunteering opportunities.
3. I spoke with Susanna the founder of Britmums last Friday and am now a member of the Britmums team. Yes, I know I keep going on about it but I am so thrilled to have an official role beyond wife and mother again. I have thrown myself into the role so far and am pleased with the results from the first 2 days. The fact that Susanna approached me has made this news all the more special. Read all about it and how you can get involved here http://kateonthinice.wordpress.com/2012/01/23/have-you-heard-the-news-i-have-a-new-and-exciting-role/
4. Just after speaking to Susanna last Friday, I got an email from Mary at the http://www.joebingleymemorialfoundation.org.uk/ I am hoping to get involved with their work and feel really positive about helping somehow on the big issue of post-natal depression. Both Susanna and Mary said some very lovely things about me. As these are, without doubt, women with good minds, I need to start believing in myself a bit more. The contact with Mary came about through me contacting her proactively and also through her reading the blog post I did on my skills and experiences. Sometimes, you have to take action to get that future you are after.
5. I attended a Chinese Meal at my daughter’s school. This may not seem like a huge deal but it does show my commitment to saying yes to opportunities to get out and about more often.
6. The healthy eating and exercise plan is not going so well. I will gloss over that as I have already blogged about it here http://kateonthinice.wordpress.com/2012/01/25/why-am-i-struggling/
7. Him Indoors is away in London for 2 nights. It is not that long ago that this would mean I was an insecure, possessive and gibbering wreck. I feel differently these days. He is doing his thing with work and yes, he will enjoy his time away from his wife and children. That does not mean that he does not love me, that he won’t come home or that I am not a Groovy Mum.
Yes, things are on the up again and about time too.
However, I do want to say some things as I do know some of the people who read my ramblings.
1. My children are older which makes it easier for me to make progress. I also have strong emotional support from one of my step-daughters in particular and my lovely Dad.
2. I have the blogging community and my readers to thank for building up my confidence so that I can start saying yes again. You know who you are I hope.
3. I have a supportive (most of the time) fella.
4. Two former school-friends have made a big difference to how I am starting to see myself. Thank you H. Thank you L.
Time and space to think, a good partner, family and friends make getting groovy a whole lot easier.
5. When I read about mums struggling with negative self-talk, post-natal depression, fatigue and relationship problems, I feel for them so deeply only because I have being there. I want to say there really is hope that in time and if you are as proactive as you can manage to be, things can and do get better.
6. I am not daft and know there will be other challenges ahead.
I want to say something else but am trying to do it appropriately. Suffice to say, when I had just lost my Mum, felt frumpy and useless, a mum I met was really kind and welcoming to me. She was younger, better-looking and more fun than me. She did not reject me. Today, I found out she is very seriously ill. I can’t think straight about it and just want to shout out “No!” She is not a friend and I have not seen her for many months since relocating. However, she is one of the people who helped to put me back together again. So, I take a deep breath, wish things were different for her and her children and dedicate this post to her.