Does Your Relationship Get Lost Somewhere In the Parenting Mix?

I am sitting in the early hours of the morning relishing the silence. Well, I say silence but the reality is Him Indoors is making the house shake with his snoring.

The cat is keeping me company which I am enjoying. He comes for the occasional rub against me but demands little more than that. If only husbands and children were so easy.

On so many levels, it is a fantastic week with new hope and a burgeoining of self-belief.

However, as I am a Mum I have also dealt with nearly all the family combatting illness in various degrees from short-term infections to migraines to psoriasis. I am not ill although I do have a niggling issue that I should get checked out. I might actually get time to do that when everyone else gets better. For now, it goes on the backburner like so many of my needs and desires.

So this week has meant I have had to stay in to do the cuddling bit. Today, Him Indoors worked so our weekend is limited to one day. I know lots of people have it much worse in terms of more demanding jobs or no job at all but right now, I am having a bit of a wallow.

I am fed up of being TATT. This is apparently how doctors abbreviate what mums tell them a lot. Go on, how many of you are “tired all the time”?

Is it any wonder in the mix of getting school uniform, bookbags and games kits together not to mention the rainforest-killing deluge of letters from school. There is the helping with homework and the making of cakes. There is the resolving of a thousand sibling disputes and the delivery of 75 snacks and meals per day. There is the dealing with the mess associated with family life and the Dirt Monster that invades our house for one. There is the scant thanks from anyone for all the efforts you make.

As I don’t have a paid or voluntary role currently, I talk myself down a lot in my own head. Useless, worthless, that sort of thing springs to mind. I know I am not alone in these feelings. Knowing that keeps me sane and helps me shout out loud “Thank Goodness for blogging!”

I feel bad for saying sometimes I need some respite from responsibility. I want to kick back and enjoy myself. I want someone else to cook, to clean, to referee and to waitress. As you can imagine, there aren’t
many/any volunteers and I resent the way Him Indoors rolls his eyes when he is asked to contribute. Yes, I know you work and have a life but I want a change of scene. You can’t underestimate the therapeutic qualities of chats with colleagues or choosing what to have for lunch. That external world that I miss so much.

I have read an article on loneliness in marriage tonight. I think he feels lonely when I am “just a mum”. I often feel isolated too. When we have time on our own, we are fine but that happens maybe twice a year if we are lucky. It is not really enough to sustain us. There are deep-rooted reasons why we don’t rely on or trust babysitters. We need a little romance in our lives but both struggle to find it. There is so much love there masked by all the other demands on our time.

How many relationships fail because there was just not the space to nurture them?

Share Button

Originally posted 2012-01-15 03:13:55.

What Are My Skills and Experiences?

For the first time in nearly 3 years, I completed a job application today. Imagine that! Is this part of me getting my groove back?

It is a job that I could do stood on my head. Not that I can stand on my head but you know what I mean. Will I get it or even get an interview? Very probably not due to the fact I will not get the best reference from my last employer. Will they take into account that I was not functioning at best during that last short-term job as my Mum was terminally ill? Will they look at how the targets of the project were never realistic anyway? I very much doubt it.

However, what the experience of completing the application brought home to me was that it is 20 years since I got my first proper job.

As I am a Groovy Mum or one in the making anyway, I have decided to sell myself on here. You never know who might be watching. Also, I have decided that despite often feeling like a fat and useless blob over the last few years, I do have some fairly impressive skills and experiences. All I need to do now is find someone who wants them.

So here is what I have done/can do. A working life review if you like.

1. I have advised members of the public on issues such as debt, welfare benefits, housing, employment and relationship matters.

2. I have negotiated with third parties (creditors, landlords, employers, government agencies) on clients’ behalf.

3. I have represented clients at court and tribunal hearings. The most satisfying cases were the ones where I saved someone’s house or got them a backdated cheque for unpaid benefits.

4. I have devised public relations strategies for a number of organisations.

5. I have given talks on a wide range of topics and to diverse audiences.

6. I have written advice columns.

7. I have promoted the goods, concepts and volunteering opportunities within charity shops.

8. I have gained significant media coverage in newspapers, magazines and newsletters.

9. I have given interviews on radio and television.

10. I have organised a Fashion Show for a charity.

11. I have promoted volunteering and active citizenship in cities, towns and villages.

12. I have organised events to recognise the social and economic value of volunteers.

13. I have linked potential volunteers with volunteering opportunities in a wide range of public and third sector settings.

14. I have organised several charity fairs.

15. I have organised several craft fairs.

16. I have promoted the concept of Action Learning as a tool of personal, professional and organisational development.

17. I have organised on-going Action Learning Sets (groups) for the voluntary sector and also some multi-sector groups.

18. I have contributed content for websites.

19. I have written a guide to Action Learning. It even has an ISBN number!

20. I have organised 3 big conferences with venues such as a sports stadium, a private prison and a tourist attraction.

21. I have brought together players from the private, public and voluntary sector looking at how they can share resources and work effectively together whilst breaking down cultural dissonance.

22. I have established a e-bulletin that is valued in the criminal justice sector to this day.

23. I have raised funds from trust and the corporate sector.

24. I have acted a a trustee of a women’s refuge

25. I have delivered training on issues such as law, government policy, media relations, volunteering and learning tools.

26. I have recruited, trained, supervised and supported volunteers in a variety of settings.

27. I have published a local magazine for mums.

28. I have written reviews of goods and services.

29. I have blogged.

So I guess number 30 has to be ….

what next?

I hope I don’t get a load of flack for blowing my own trumpet. It is just I think sometimes it is necessary if only to convince ourselves that we are worthwhile. In the midst of housework and parenting, it is so easy to lose sight of what we are capable of out in the big bad world.

Well, there you are, I am throwing down a gauntlet of sorts.

Sending a message to the universe in the belief that good things will come.

Watch this space and I will report back on how the cosmic ordering goes.

Why not actually sit down yourself and really look at what you have in that skills bank? Probably far more than you feel on a daily basis. Here’s to me, here’s to us!

Do I press publish? Hell, why not?

Oh and off the off chance you have something for me, do check out my “How To Contact Me” page.

Share Button

Originally posted 2012-01-13 17:07:41.

Exclusive – Revealing New Olympic Blogging Platform – The Face Of Blogging in 2012

It will be a very Happy New Year for bloggers in 2012 thanks to a major new blogging platform, Olympic Blogger.

If you thought blogging was fun before, it is just about to get a whole lot better.

Here are some of the new developments revealed here exclusively.

1. When you start a blog, you will have the option of signing up for a tool that will promote it automatically on major social networks, women’s magazines, parenting networks and national newspapers.

2. Smellibloggism will be an option enabling visitors to breathe in tantalising smells of your cookery, recipes or fragrance-related reviews.

3. When people leave a comment on your blog, they will be colour-coded from “very heartfelt comment” to “just being nice” to “positively hostile”.

4. Tastybloggism will allow visitors to taste your food or mouthwatering product reviews.

5. Every Olympic Blogger will be allocated one exclusive meme developped by social media experts that with development will lead to a huge increase in pageviews and unique visitors. All memes will have the potential to be monetised leading to new income streams for bloggers.

6. TouchyFeelybloggism will allow visitors to reach out and give you a cuddle when you need it, to give you a pat on the back when earned and to touch your crafts, review products and so on.

7. Every Olympic blogger will be allocated an experienced mentor so that they will be informed about all the useful tools straightaway rather than having to learn them over a period of weeks, months or years.

8. Olympic Blogger will provide daily prompts for those days when you are too bloggered to blog.

9. Olympic Blogger will hold regional events enabling information, training, motivation, networking and access to public relations people to take place outside London. All Olympic Blogger events will have childcare available for all ages up to 16 or pay expenses for the same. There will also be a travel fares pool enabling better off bloggers who are kind-hearted enough to do so to support cash-strapped bloggers.

10. Olympic Blogger will hold an Awards Ceremony for bloggers ever year. All Olympic bloggers will receive an award recognising their individual talents thus removing any negative in-fighting between bloggers when, frankly, there are bigger battles in the world to fight.

Olympic Blogger membership costs £100 per annum. The first 200 bloggers to sign up get free membership.

With 4 weeks to the official launch of Olympic Blogger, developments can be tweaked or added to. Comments are, therefore, welcomed.

Share Button

Originally posted 2011-12-03 23:25:00.