I may be avoiding making World Book Day costumes by posting my Reasons to be Cheerful instead. You may think that but I couldn’t possibly comment.
1. I have had coped fine since my husband left at the weekend. He is keeping in touch regularly. I am taking a firm line with the children on things like bedtimes and X Box access. In a funny sort of way, being on my own makes this easier. I also think the time to myself to think and work out what I want out of life is doing me the power of good. The children are trying their best to be extra helpful too. In return, I am trying to work up that mountain to more yummy mummy in terms of reading more stories to them on a night and as I said, making home-made World Book Day costumes instead of heading to the supermarket for them.
2. My youngest son made me smile today when he complained about the competitions on programmes like Daybreak not having proper and testing questions. He is like me and not at all a fan of things that don’t test him.
3. My oldest son is doing errands for me when I need him to do with good grace. I am getting lots of extra hugs in case I am missing Dad too much.
4. My daughter seems to be getting achievement awards every week from school so that I can hardly keep up. She did some amazing work on pirates recently. She also sent an email to her Dad which was so funny and made her feelings quite clear about his former employer!
5. I am reading more. I started “Baggage” by Janet Street-Porter last night. It is the story of her childhood and you can see already how she is very much her parents’ daughter which she would probably hate considering what she has to say about them on telly.
6. I have started a healthy eating pattern which is way overdue.
7. My husband has viewed some houses. We have not found the right place yet but are feeling more confident that we will.
8. The kittens are thriving and getting very sibling like having the occasional bash each other session. Very soon, they will be ready for advertising and on the lookout for new homes.
9. This week, I had a day where the patio doors were open so I reckon Spring is most definitely on its way.
Have yourself an amazingly happy week!
Lent starts today and amazingly there was some coverage on programmes like Daybreak.
I listened to a priest effectively telling us that it is not about giving up chocolate but about facing our own mortality. To be honest, since I lost my parents I am all too aware that life is much shorter than I ever worked out before.
Ash Wednesday – Mum would go to church and then onto bingo always convinced the ashes on her forehead added to her good luck. Being her, it usually did. Faith moves mountains and bingo balls it seemed.
Yesterday, I had a really awful dizzy spell on the afternoon school run. It felt like I was going to pass out and I had no confidence in making the 5 minute journey home. The children were wonderful stroking me as we went along and then my teenager wrapping me up in a duvet and blankets when I got back home.
Today, my leg felt like it was letting me down.
Sometimes we need any excuse or reason to get back to healthy eating.
I am an emotional over-eater and recent months have seen me engaging in self-destructive eating patterns. There have been a lot of visits to town for bags of chips and Cornish pasties and pastries.
It is Lent.
My health is a bit hit and miss.
It is time to take action.
So I am wobbling my way back this Wednesday.
I have eaten a lot today but all healthy stuff – porridge, eggs, cereal. I intend to have a vegetable stir-fry tonight.
The children are having baked potatoes with tuna and beans on the side.
I have stocked up via internet shopping on a lot of vegetables and fruits.
Wish me luck not for the bingo but for wobbling my way back to health and fitness.
I don’t wake to the sound of you in the shower.
There is no cup of coffee delivered to the side of my bed.
There are no sneaky brunches or lunches.
I have to cook my own meals
Egg butties and steak dinners are non-existent
And the precursor to egg butties is also absent without leave
If I want to have a rant, there is nobody to listen
Passionate ideas also go unheard
Nobody laughs out loud at my witticisms
Loading the dishwasher in haphazard fashion does not work
Who knew that I would miss anal? (Keep it clean people)
I wake in the night and I can’t snuggle up close
As you can see, I ain’t missing you at all!
Well maybe a little bit.
I should not write this post.
I should be nice, calm and accepting.
The reality is that my heart is breaking because my best friend and husband left today.
He is starting a new life far away from us because that is the only hope we have.
He starts work tomorrow morning and has only just secured a bed for the night which is of course far from ideal.
My children say …
“Are you missing Daddy?”
“I will be as good as I can be whilst Daddy is away”
“We will get through this together”
Tomorrow we will get up and do the school run. Daddy will not come home tomorrow night. We do not know when we will see him again.
I just spoke to him on the telephone and I sobbed. I cried myself to sleep last night and tears are in the building right now.
He told me not get upset or he will and he can’t afford to do that because he has to start a new job in the morning.
Meanwhile we hear fromm his lovely ex-employer the Royal British Legion that welfare cases now take at least 8 weeks, much longer than they did when my husband was a County Welfare Officer for them for 7 long and loyal years. Yet they deemed him not good enough and put him on the scrap heap.
And I continue to say, shame on them!
I miss my husband. The children miss their Daddy.
So much for the claim that the Royal British Legion stand shoulder to shoulder with those who have served.
Oops, I did it again!
Angry, tearful and wondering what comes next.