Falling apart on become a mum is not unusual really. Becoming a parent is a overwhelming experience filled with a mix of positive and negative stress. Childbirth is a shock to the system and then you are thrown into so many new demands that can take their toll on your physical and mental wellbeing.
What is unusual or at least was until recent times was mums being honest about falling apart either at the time or looking back on their life experiences. My belief is that we bloggers need to give a true account of women’s lives so that history can report it properly for starters. It is also important to counter-balance the fakery out there presenting apparently perfect lives.
So I am grateful to Laura who shares how she fell apart and then rebuilt her life one baby step at a time. Laura set up Worditude where she helps business-builders write the words for their website.
“I didn’t want to be the boss.
Every self-employed person I knew when I was growing up such as my neighbour, the shop-owner who employed me on Saturdays and my grandparents were stressed out, overworked….and kinda stingy.
I didn’t want to be that person.
So I threw myself into corporate life as soon as I could.
I clawed my way to a first class business degree and then joined a management programme for a financial services company just weeks after my 21st birthday.
I was Little Miss Career-Climber.
In just a few years I made it to a middle management position with a salary I hadn’t dared dream of.
And then came the babies. Like little pink bombs detonating under my corporate world, shattering my plans, and leaving me with shards of shrapnel, from which I needed to rebuild a life.
I love them. I wanted them. But I was in no way prepared for the impact their presence would have on me.
Due to a medical condition my second son couldn’t go to a nursery or childminder. He needed to be with a parent at home.
He clearly hadn’t read my two kids plus full-time childcare script.
So I walked out on my job. Literally. I just left one day and didn’t go back because I felt so out of control at how my life was unfolding.
For two depression-riddled years, I was so so lost. I didn’t know what was important to me anymore (apart from my sons). I didn’t know how to make a meaningful contribution to the world (because even as a full-time mum, I was still overlooking the value of mothers). I didn’t know what I wanted to do.
I spent hours and hours researching online for ‘work from home opportunities’.
I thankfully managed to dodge the scams – goodness knows how, there were enough of them.
I settled on blogging as a potential source of income. And then I loved setting up my WordPress website so much, I started to make websites for other people. And then I loved helping them write the words for their websites so much, that I ditched the website building and focussed on copywriting instead.
And here I am now helping entrepreneurs write their own website content through my templates and tutorials.
As I’ve built my business, I’ve learned to rebuild myself.
The books, the training, the seminars, the meetings. Combined they formed a crash course in self-development I never would’ve undertaken had my little ones not completely destroyed my plans and identity 10 years ago.
It all worked out in the end.
I can’t go back 10 years and tell myself that.
So instead I share my story as openly and honestly as I can, so that other mothers, who fear their identity is irreversibly crumbling can know that sometimes when things look like they’re falling apart, they are actually falling into place.”