Your child has decided to go to university. It’s exciting. It’s scary, and it can be heartbreaking but there are ways you can help your child, and you, deal with them setting off on their new life.
Help Them Plan
There are plenty of ways to assist when it comes to sending your child off to continue their studying. From budgeting advice to planning where they are going to stay. From helping them to organise their reading lists to looking at Urbanest student accommodation near to their University. Parents can become so submerged though n the idea of their child going away it masks what happens when they actually leave, and that can come as a bit of a shock.
No Good at Goodbye
It’s here. The day you knew was coming, the day you have been planning for months, yet all too soon it’s on your doorstep, and you don’t know how to feel. Although it’s very common for parents to feel emotional, even parents who have been avoiding the subject can’t help but feel a little sad. This is unavoidable, this day marking the end of what was normal family life and is moving the family dynamic into a whole new era. Of course,e you will continue to be a guiding light for your child yet the time for you to be at the centre of everything they are doing has come and gone. It’s a vast and often overwhelming occurrence, but there are ways to help all of you deal with the adjustment.
Plan the departure day as much as you can. Many parents drop their child off, seeing them into their accommodation or dorm and then walking away after that lingering cup of coffee. If you do decide on this route, then be prepared for how wrenching this can be. Your child will also feel this, though of course, they may be less inclined to show it.
No matter how you are feeling, try to remain upbeat about how fantastic your child’s choice is. They have committed to continue their studying and to expand their knowledge, and you should be very proud of that. If you can manage it, try to save your tears until they are out of sight. This will ultimately make it easier on both of you in the long run.
Returning Home To The Nest
The sense of loss you may feel is genuine and shouldn’t be overlooked or undermined. It is merely a sign that you have invested yourself entirely and been a fantastic parent so pat yourself on the back for that. You may want to remind yourself that you have raised and encouraged an independent and responsible adult, one prepared to better themselves. Well done.
Saying that there is no way around the fact that it hurts. You grieve. And you must give yourself and your partner time to do this. You may also find they are dealing with it better than you think you are or they should be and this may cause some resentment. Be kind to each other and try to be as comforting as possible.
Always On The End Of The Phone
It will be necessary for both of you once you have settled into your new routine not to be overly in your face in contacting your child. Tough as it is, you have to accept your child is an adult and as such will get on with things on their own as much as they can. Of course, you will still be there for them at the end of the phone, but they will no longer perhaps share all the details of their days and nights. Before they leave, agree on how often you will aim for contact and how via email or phone or texts and try your best to stick to it.
As tough as it is, this could now be an exciting time for you both to start a new phase and look forward to exciting new futures.