Falling apart on becoming a mum – Laura’s story

Falling apart on become a mum is not unusual really. Becoming a parent is a overwhelming experience filled with a mix of positive and negative stress. Childbirth is a shock to the system and then you are thrown into so many new demands that can take their toll on your physical and mental wellbeing.

Falling Apart

What is unusual or at least was until recent times was mums being honest about falling apart either at the time or looking back on their life experiences.  My belief is that we bloggers need to give a true account of women’s lives so that history can report it properly for starters. It is also important to counter-balance the fakery out there presenting apparently perfect lives.

So I am grateful to Laura who shares how she fell apart and then rebuilt her life one baby step at a time. Laura set up Worditude where she helps business-builders write the words for their website.

“I didn’t want to be the boss.

Every self-employed person I knew when I was growing up such as my neighbour, the shop-owner who employed me on Saturdays and my grandparents were stressed out, overworked….and kinda stingy.

I didn’t want to be that person.

So I threw myself into corporate life as soon as I could.

I clawed my way to a first class business degree and then joined a management programme for a financial services company just weeks after my 21st birthday.

I was Little Miss Career-Climber.

In just a few years I made it to a middle management position with a salary I hadn’t dared dream of.

And then came the babies. Like little pink bombs detonating under my corporate world, shattering my plans, and leaving me with shards of shrapnel, from which I needed to rebuild a life.

I love them. I wanted them. But I was in no way prepared for the impact their presence would have on me.

Due to a medical condition my second son couldn’t go to a nursery or childminder. He needed to be with a parent at home.

He clearly hadn’t read my two kids plus full-time childcare script.

So I walked out on my job. Literally. I just left one day and didn’t go back because I felt so out of control at how my life was unfolding.

For two depression-riddled years, I was so so lost. I didn’t know what was important to me anymore (apart from my sons). I didn’t know how to make a meaningful contribution to the world (because even as a full-time mum, I was still overlooking the value of mothers). I didn’t know what I wanted to do.

I spent hours and hours researching online for ‘work from home opportunities’.

I thankfully managed to dodge the scams – goodness knows how, there were enough of them.

I settled on blogging as a potential source of income. And then I loved setting up my WordPress website so much, I started to make websites for other people. And then I loved helping them write the words for their websites so much, that I ditched the website building and focussed on copywriting instead.

And here I am now helping entrepreneurs write their own website content through my templates and tutorials.

As I’ve built my business, I’ve learned to rebuild myself.

The books, the training, the seminars, the meetings. Combined they formed a crash course in self-development I never would’ve undertaken had my little ones not completely destroyed my plans and identity 10 years ago.

It all worked out in the end.

I can’t go back 10 years and tell myself that.

So instead I share my story as openly and honestly as I can, so that other mothers, who fear their identity is irreversibly crumbling can know that sometimes when things look like they’re falling apart, they are actually falling into place.”

 

Sharing so openly takes a huge amount of courage so please do consider sharing this post by clicking one or more of the buttons below.

If you would like to share your story on this blog please get in touch.

 

Tammymum
Pink Pear Bear
ethannevelyn.com


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16 Comments

  1. Tracy Albiero March 5, 2018 / 4:29 pm

    Every parenting story is different. Some days are successful others are a train wreck. I am glad you were able to turn your life into what you thought it should look like! #familyfunlinky

  2. The Rhyming Mum March 5, 2018 / 7:46 pm

    You’re doing such a good thing sharing your story to help others. I’m glad everything worked out for you. #themmlinky

  3. The Squirmy Popple March 5, 2018 / 9:49 pm

    It’s great that you’ve managed to create a career that you love out of a difficult situation. Becoming a mother can change your sense of self so completely that it can be easy to feel lost. #familyfunlinky

  4. Marylin March 7, 2018 / 12:35 pm

    Honestly, this is why I’m relieved I had my kids while I was young! I don’t think I’d have coped with having a career and the independence it brings to then have to leave it behind. My youngest (now 10) has autism and although he’s doing really well now, it’s only in the last 2 years that he’s been thriving at school. There’s no way I could have put him into child care, and even now wrap around school care wouldn’t work for him without a specialist who knew how to handle him.
    Now I’m running my business through my blog and I can work around my sons’ needs while helping other mamas! <3

    #TheMMLinky

  5. Tammymum March 9, 2018 / 6:38 am

    I love this. I have a been a SAHM now officially we’re nearly two years but 3 since inhavent worked since my first child was born. I feel my hand was forced a little in the decision and whilst I don’t think I have been depressed I have certainly found it very difficult especially adjusting and replanning everything I thought I had planned in my life. I am starting to get there but still feel I have a long way to go. I am so pleased to read about your business and the happiness it brougt it. I wish you nothing but success. Thanks for joining us at #familyfun

  6. Helena March 10, 2018 / 6:39 pm

    This is one inspiring post. Kids do tend to make you change things in your life. #FamilyFunLinky

  7. Malin March 12, 2018 / 4:46 am

    This was really lovely and positive to read. I hope I too can look back in a few years time and say things turned out okay! xx

  8. Malin March 12, 2018 / 4:46 am

    This was really lovely and positive to read. I hope I too can look back in a few years time and say things turned out okay! xx
    #TheMMLinky

  9. Kelly March 17, 2018 / 12:03 pm

    What a great story! I really do believe that everything happens for a reason, even if we can’t see it at the time. Thanks for sharing. #TheMMLinky

  10. Debs March 18, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    Oh thank you so much for sharing this – I sat nodding in recognition at so many parts of it. What an inspiring woman.

    Love it!

    #TheMMLinky

  11. Julie Downes March 20, 2018 / 9:03 pm

    Love this! Such an inspiring story. Fascinating where things will lead. #bigpinklink

  12. Louise Pink Pear Bear March 25, 2018 / 7:42 pm

    Sharing these stories is just so so important. Motherhood, no matter how much you want it can be scary. You have to find your new normal and that can be so tough. Thanks for being a part of the #bigpinklink this week.

  13. Mother of 3 April 6, 2018 / 1:54 pm

    Oh I just love that last line! I love the openness and the honesty here too. I think often when moms or dads are thrown by the life changes that come with having kids it’s assumed they don’t want their kids or wished they hadn’t had them but I think its just normal to flounder until a new normal life, routine, and path is forged. Those first years with littles were so rough. I often felt like I was so tired that I honestly just could not function. I love my boys more than anything but no amount of planning prepared me for the realities of motherhood. #FabFridayPost

  14. mummy here and here April 7, 2018 / 8:19 am

    Parenting is tough and sometimes no way fun. There times when I just want to walk out and feel I just can’t go on. Luckily I have a carer because my autism or else I am not sure if I would cope X #fabfrodayposr

  15. Alicia Owen April 9, 2018 / 1:58 am

    What a great story! I’m sure there are plenty of moms out there who go through this, but are too afraid to say anything with all of the “mom shaming” these days coming from both sides. #fabfridaypost

  16. Sarah TheRealLaraShoe April 12, 2018 / 7:58 pm

    Thats a wonderful story from Laura. Its great she’s been able to create her own business. Thanks for sharing and linking up with us #FabFridayPost

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