Struggling as a mum and then helping others – Sarah’s story
Struggling as a mum is something many of us experience when the whole parenting deal does not quite live up to our rose-tinted expectations. The best mums in my opinion are those who are honest about their thoughts and feelings and then go on to help others. One such woman is Sarah from MummyKind a website about the realities of mothering.
Please tell us a little about your childhood and teenage years.
I was born up in Yorkshire, though moved down south when I was about 5 and very quickly lost my Yorkshire accent! My childhood wasn’t the best and neither were my teenage years – I battled with depression from a young age and my family situation was far from ideal, leading me to leave home at 16, but it’s a good job I did because that led me to meet my future husband!
What was your first job/career?
When I was 14 I worked as an office cleaner for a friend’s dad! Oh what a glamorous life I used to lead. I’ve only done part-time work alongside university!
Tell us about becoming a mum and how you feel you have handled that life change?
I always wanted a baby and thought I wouldn’t be able to have one, but that isn’t the case and having one completely put me off ever having another! Becoming a mum was difficult, I hated my pregnancy and suffered PND and anxiety for months afterwards, but now I’ve managed to find my groove and just try to enjoy the good parts (it’s not so easy to enjoy it when your child screams 24/7)
What are you spending your time doing these days?
I’m at university full time while I’m training to become a barrister, and I’m working part-time to help pay for childcare! When I have free time I like to blog or volunteer when I can
What was the reason you started to blog?
The first blogpost I wrote was on my someonecallsmemummy blog, a letter to my 8 week old baby as she was sleeping next to me. I think I just needed an outlet for the emotions I was going through at the time. It was all so overwhelming!
How does blogging help you when you are struggling as a mum?
Even though it’s baby-related, it doesn’t always feel like it. It feels like it’s something fun, something for me to do and it reminds me that I’m a human when I read what other people are going through too. I like to think that maybe Mummykind can help another mum who feels like they’re sinking sometimes.
Are you a fan of collaboration with other bloggers and if so, why?
Our Mummykind blog is one big collaboration – so yes! 6 mummies all sharing experiences of parenting reminds us that everyone’s journeys are different and there is no right or wrong answer
Who has supported you in life?
My amazing husband has been there from day 1 for me. He was there the day I got my A Level results, he was there when I graduated and he’s always supported me as best as he can through my mental health, even though I know he doesn’t really understand it fully.
What are your words of wisdom to a mum who is struggling emotionally?
There’s light at the end of the tunnel, and to get there, you need to drop the guilt. Who cares about the state of your house, how you feed your baby, how the birth went, whether you had a c-section or not, or how you look? Only you, so if you can’t do things how you wanted to, don’t carry the guilt with you.
If you could recommend ONE book to a woman what would it be and why?
Atonement by Ian McEwan – if this doesn’t teach you to change things you’re not happy with before you regret the choices you’ve made then I don’t know what will!
If you could recommend ONE website other than your own to a woman what would it be and why?
Stumbleupon – I love this site because it has ALL THE BLOGS and they’re just on there randomly for you to read at 3am during the night feeds… Honestly, try it out!
Is there anything else you would like to say about struggling as a mum?
If you’re struggling with motherhood, just know that you’re not alone, and seek help as early as you can. You need to get to that place where you can just love being a mum to your little baby!
Oh, and have fun, that’s the number 1 rule of parenting!
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