It’s a low day in lockdown today. I know from lots of years of ups and downs that blogging it out helps when you are struggling a bit. So what has got me down today?
It started when for the first time since November last year the weighing scales did not show a weight loss. I was expecting to lose a couple of pounds but have hit a plateau. Stupidly, I let this get to me. I had the sense later in the day to do my measurements. Since the start of November 2020 I have lost 3 and a half inches on my bust, 3 and a half inches on my hips, 4 inches on my bum and 1 and a half inches on my waist. Vitally my waist size is now a healthy one which is what really matters.
I live in my brother’s house since returning to the UK. It isn’t like living in my own home. When I feel down I want to be by myself, snuggle under a duvet or play loud music. Here it feels I am watched. I know this is because my brother cares. Sometimes I just want a place to be me.
I have not spoken to any adults apart from my brother since last year! It is driving me mad. Not that long ago I used go to a bar and talk, laugh and party. All gone!
I don’t particularly enjoy my job. I would if I could just get on with it but the modern workplace seems full of processes and systems that get in my way of doing good.
I signed up to be a Body Shop at Home consultant and have set up a Facebook group to encourage positivity around self-care and beauty but have few takers. It’s a great opportunity for women and men to make extra money but you have to be in the right mindset I think.
I came back to the UK to get my children back into education and now they are effectively back to being stuck at home learning that way. Why did I bother?
To cap it all, my husband texted me to say a parcel had arrived in France and should he send it on. He continues to live the French dream I originally had. He did not enquire about my welfare or our 3 children. That hurts a lot. Fair enough if he hates me but what about our beautiful children? Yes he pays maintenance at the rate he would be ordered to if I went down the legal route but does that absolve him from all other parenting input?
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