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A low day in lockdown

It’s a low day in lockdown today. I know from lots of years of ups and downs that blogging it out helps when you are struggling a bit. So what has got me down today?

It started when for the first time since November last year the weighing scales did not show a weight loss. I was expecting to lose a couple of pounds but have hit a plateau. Stupidly, I let this get to me. I had the sense later in the day to  do my measurements. Since the start of November 2020 I have lost 3 and a half inches on my bust, 3 and a half inches on my hips, 4 inches on my bum and 1 and a half inches on my waist. Vitally my waist size is now a healthy one which is what really matters.

I live in my brother’s house since returning to the UK. It isn’t like living in my own home. When I feel down I want to be by myself, snuggle under a duvet or play loud music. Here it feels I am watched. I know this is because my brother cares. Sometimes I just want a place to be me.

I have not spoken to any adults apart from my brother since last year! It is driving me mad. Not that long ago I used go to a bar and talk, laugh and party. All gone!

I don’t particularly enjoy my job. I would if I could just get on with it but the modern workplace seems full of processes and systems that get in my way of doing good.

I signed up to be a Body Shop at Home consultant and have set up a Facebook group to encourage positivity around self-care and beauty but have few takers. It’s a great opportunity for women and men to make extra money but you have to be in the right mindset I think.

I came back to the UK to get my children back into education and now they are effectively back to being stuck at home learning that way. Why did I bother?

To cap it all, my husband texted me to say a parcel had arrived in France and should he send it on. He continues to live the French dream I originally had. He did not enquire about my welfare or our 3 children. That hurts a lot. Fair enough if he hates me but what about our beautiful children? Yes he pays maintenance at the rate he would be ordered to if I went down the legal route but does that absolve him from all other parenting input?

The end.

 

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My Random Musings
loopyloulaura

Award-winning writer, blogger, social media consultant and charity campaigner. Social Media Manager for BritMums, the UK's largest parent blogging network Freelance clients include Firefly Communications and Save the Children UK. Works with brands on marketing projects. Examples include Visit Orlando, Give As You Live, Coca-Cola and Kodak. Cambridge Law graduate with many years experience working across three sectors in advice, media relations, events, training and project management. Available for hire at affordable rates.

8 Comments

  • rawsonjl

    Aw, I definitely hear you on the weight loss end… I gained a few pounds back at the end of last year between being unable to exercise after my surgery and then the holidays and it seems like that weight just does not want to budge and it is so hard not to be discouraged when I step on the scale. It was a good idea to take your measurements though– I wish I had taken mine at any point through my weight loss journey as I know inches lost don’t always equal numbers down on the scale. I wish I had words of wisdom about the rest but I just don’t. I do however hope that tomorrow will be a much better day for you. #MMBC

  • Janet Cooper

    I’m sorry you’ve had such a low few days. I think the Body Shop at Home is a great idea, and it’s so difficult to get out there and meet people right now. Don’t let that stop you because plenty of people need this. I have some friends who do this and do demonstrations. I know that might sound daunting in some ways, but it’s actually helped my friend build some confidence. Home schooling is difficult, but this time around I’m actually in more of a routine. I feel for my daughter who is in her final year of school. My young son is Mr. Popular and misses his friends, but his school are really great. Very flexible around me working from home, but they put a live lesson on each day, plus an optional drop in session, as well as having famiy quizes etc… I can’t complain. I’ve actually decided to homeschool my 13-year-old permanently, because sitting online for 6-hours per day wasn’t working for him and was affecting his learning and his mental health. I’m a teacher myself, but I work as a writer now from home. He can still do qualifications like IGCSE and Functional Skills and other things, so we made a choice to go for what we felt was best. That’s all any of us can do. I really appreciate your honest post – my weight isn’t improving and some days I feel like I’m running in circles. Hopefully, it won’t go on for much longer but in the meantime keep going. 🙂 You got this! #AnythingGoes

  • shelbeeontheedge1

    Kate, I can relate to so much of this! My weight has fluctuated more than I would have liked during this past year in lockdown. That is a never ending struggle. And I am much like you, when I am feeling down, I need to be alone snuggled under the covers. Getting alone time is difficult these days with two boys, ages 7 and 9, at home all the time, and the responsibility of keeping them on track with virtual school. Fortunately, my husband recognizes when I need to decompress in solitude and I am able to retreat to my bedroom for me time. Feeling as if you are being watched when you need that alone time must be stressful, I’m sure. I hope things start to turn around for you and for all of us who are struggling through this strange time. Thanks for sharing your vulnerabilities with us. It really is inspiring and very helpful to know that we do not struggle alone! #AnythingGoes

    Shelbee
    http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com

  • Kim Carberry

    Sending love and hugs. It does sound like a rough day for you.
    Don’t be so tough on yourself about the weight loss. It sounds like you are doing great with it.
    Good luck with the Body Shop work. x

  • Katrina | ChatterFoxBlog

    So sorry to read that you’re having a down day. It must be difficult to feel low in someone else’s home. I feel your frustration at not having your own freedom to process your mood how you would in your own environment. Well done for signing up to The Body Shop, it’s a positive step and gives you something new to focus on. Good luck.

    Katrina x
    #AnythingGoes

  • loopyloulaura

    I’m so sorry that things are tough. I had to have a good cry last week as I felt so overwhelmed for holding everything together. Today I’m just feeling blue and my head is full of grey clouds like the current sky. Brighter days MUST be on their way. Sending lots of love your way and thanks for linking up with #MischiefAndMemories

  • Annette, 3 Little Buttons

    Oh Kate… I’m throwing all the hugs your way today. Hopefully things have picked up for you over the weekend. I think we are the same in that when things get tough, we want our own space to clear our heads. It’s so much harder to do that when you don’t have your own space, but that will come. Enjoy the kindness of your brother – he sounds like an amazing person. Stay strong, but don’t forget to cry when you need to. PS. I’ve joined your Body Shop Facebook group 🙂 Thank you for sharing your experiences with #MischiefAndMemories xxx

  • Navigating Baby

    Sorry to hear that you had a crappy day. I think the past week has been the toughest yet for many this lockdown. The weather doesn’t help does it? I hope the weekend picked up for you. Sending smiles Kx #MischiefAndMemories

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