Asking for support works so do it today!

Asking for support works so I urge anyone who is going through challenging times to do so. I think many of us are too proud to reach out to others. We don’t want to reveal that our lives are not picture perfect and that we don’t always have the right answers. Sometimes we don’t have any solutions at all. You might be like me and also my own mother who are always there for others in a crisis. I think the natural helpers in life can find it particularly tough to say that they need back-up too. Last week my husband said he is giving me three months to prove myself or he thinks we should go our separate ways. This was obviously devastating and I felt powerless. Feeling very much at my lowest ebb, I reached out for support.

Family members at home and away

My family members who live with me offered their support with cuddles and lots of listening. There were also some wise reminders that I needed to hear. I am so loved here by my amazing children. How lucky am I! I have also had support from my brother both in terms of emotional support and practical suggestions. Members of my husband’s family have also given me their time and patience. They have shared their experiences and resources freely. They are blessings, each and every one.

People who knew me when they were children

Thanks to the man who I last saw when he was aged ten years old. I remember him as a giggling child who I walked and talked with. I learned from him then about the countryside. This week in quite basic terms he said what he thought of my current situation. I thank him for that. It has made me think. It has given my hope.

Thanks to the woman who I last saw when she was about twelve years old. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on my current relationship. Thanks for saying how you saw me as a cool, bohemian woman back then and how you aspired to be like me. I have always secretly harboured a wish to be seen just like that so in the midst of all this stress, you made my day!


Bloggers are a supportive community. I have seen this on so many occasions when real tragedies have affected bloggers and their families. However, even I have been stunned at the level of support received once I started sharing my worries and concerns. Thank you everyone.

Former  colleague

I have had huge generosity from a former colleague. There are Christian values spoken but then there are people who live by them. You know who you are and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Asking for support works

Speaking out and asking for support works. I have been surprised by the people and organisations who did not help or as much as I thought they would or as much as I would if they were in trouble. I guess it is true that it is in the bad times that you find out who your true friends are. Also you cannot always know what is going on other folks’ lives and the pressures they are facing. However, that does not take away from the fact that the results of asking for support are my reason to be cheerful this week. It appears I have a lot of people in my corner. I don’t need to work out why that may be the case. I just have to be very glad that they are there.

I was going to stealth publish this post but I am going to be strong and not do so.



Musings Of A Tired Mummy

R2BC at Mummy from the Heart

3 Little Buttons

Confessions of a New Mummy

My Random Musings

Award-winning writer, blogger, social media consultant and charity campaigner. Social Media Manager for BritMums, the UK's largest parent blogging network Freelance clients include Firefly Communications and Save the Children UK. Works with brands on marketing projects. Examples include Visit Orlando, Give As You Live, Coca-Cola and Kodak. Cambridge Law graduate with many years experience working across three sectors in advice, media relations, events, training and project management. Available for hire at affordable rates.


  • midlifesinglemum

    Wow, this did take courage, as did your previous post when you said how difficult things were for you atm. What a tremendous response though. I see that the response has given you strength and that’s great. I hope you manage to do what you want to do to effect the changes you want to happen. I’m not sure what ‘proving’ yourself means or even it’s a desirable thing to strive for but I’m sure the people who know you and your situation better than I do have given you relevant advice. Good luck with everything. You’re an amazing woman! xxx

  • Becky Willoughby

    We are a fabulous community and I know when I did end my marriage it was twitter that saved my sanity! Keep strong and believe in yourself xx

  • endardoo

    Just for interest, has this partner given himself any pause for reflection, maybe get his own act together or seek to “prove himself” to you and others in a similar way? I jest because I would doubt this very much. Tough times, Kate, but the warning bels had been ringing in previous posts. Hope it works out well for you, and for your children

  • henners1970

    So sorry about what’s happening in your life right now. So glad to hear that you’ve heard so supportive words from different people. Thanks so much for sharing – very brave.

  • thisscribblermum

    Hope everything works out well for you and kids. Asking for support really does work and very important to do in order to get different perspectives that will help in getting through tough times. #DreamTeam

  • Kate (@Newmummykate)

    Always worth remembering that marriage takes two, so I do hope you’re husband is trying to prove himself too. Problems in any relationship aren’t down to one person only. I hope everything works out for you and your children and I’m glad you’re receiving some support. #TwinklyTuesday

  • Tracey Carr

    It’s so great to see that you have taken positive action Kate and that it has been successful. You’re absolutely right, the worst mistake we can make is thinking that we can handle everything all by ourselves. I agree that it always helps to reach out, even if it does make you feel vulnerable in the process. It is good to lighten the load #globalblogging

  • Heather Keet

    So glad you reached out for support! I think people genuinely want to help, but they’re afraid to be considered ‘nosy’ and they resist the urge to offer. #GlobalBlogging

  • Jayne SMABL

    You’re so very right Kate, the worst thing we can do is to bottle things up. So glad that you are getting the support you need. I hope all works out for you and your children. x #MMBC

  • Annette, 3 Little Buttons

    Absolutely! Reaching out for support is something we all need to get our heads round – because it’s no good suffering in silence. Kate – you a most definitely a strong and wonderful women. I know the signs have been there for a while from your previous posts. And I do hope you are Having taking care and being kind to yourself. This sounds like a power tip. It takes 2 to tango so to speak – and 2 people putting in equal effort because they want to my love. Getting sucked into being the 1 person having to prove themselves doesn’t seem balanced at all. Thanks for sharing with the #DreamTeam – who are all here for you xxx

  • Jeanna

    I don’t have much of a support group for caregiving and nothing I’ve tried seems to work, but I do have some support for other issues and it can make all the difference. I’m not sure what you need to prove but taken at face value that’s an awful thing to say and I think of an intense relationship when I was much younger and trying to prove myself again and again.That was a huge mistake and hurt us both. It’s great that you’re reaching out and if things are cyclical then things can be abusive and no one should have to live their life with abuse.

  • Peabea

    My first visit here after finding Twinkly Tuesday from my link up. Sad to read that you’re facing some tough decisions, but am heartened by your words and blog that wants to offer support and get support. Not sure what you would need to prove, but prayers you find an answer that is right for you. My confession is that I just lost the love of my life of 55 years in May so am facing tough time, and relate to how the support (emotional) does come in various forms. My children are my best support system too as well as me trying to support them. Hugs for all the best for you. Thanks for sharing your blog and the link up.

  • mackenzieglanville

    keep reaching out and feeling that support, you are so admired and loved, I am always here to chat with, bounce ideas off or just listen. Keep knowing you deserve better xx

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