I am not sure I want to be responsible so am reflecting on the word responsible as my word of the week.
There is this niggling voice that has started to rebuke me for being too responsible.
When I work, I put in too much effort often more than I am rewarded or thanked for.
I do about 90 per cent of the housework with the husband making vague occasional attempts usually loudly and with an air as if he deserves a medal for doing anything.
Similarly on the parenting front, it is me who educates the children, instils values and encourages debate.
Everyone looks to me for the right answers and frankly I am sick of it.
When does it stop?
Can I step off and freewheel through life for a while? How about a day of living in sunshine taking walks and reading for pleasure. Lounging around and taking time to just be. How about 365 days like that? How about a lifetime?
What makes me so responsible? Why do I drive myself so hard spinning so many plates and then wondering why I get tired?
Something tells me 2017 will be the year of radical changes and I intend to be good enough rather than so utterly and boringly responsible.
Responsibility implies obligation but I am a free spirit as soon as I choose to take that path. Will that road take me North or South? Who will I meet along the way?
Will I do something so amazingly exciting that someone will say in awe or judgement “Are you responsible for this?” and will I smile sagely and say “Oh yes and I am proud!”
In fact, I can do that now because instead of moaning on, I am going to take responsibility not for chores and saving the world but for changing my life.
I thought I would check what cheerfulness means partly as inspiration for today’s post as for a variety of reasons I am feeling tired.
Google tells me that cheerfulness is the state of being noticeably happy and optimistic. I am happy enough at the moment but more importantly I am optimistic with a real feeling I am in charge of my own destiny. I think it is a long time and possibly over 10 years since I last felt quite this way.
This year will bring great changes and I have 2 options both of which would improve things for myself and my family.
Happiness this week came from again listening to my mind and body and giving them what they need. This enables me to be more present for my children and to get things done efficiently too.
My oldest son is recovering steadily after his operation and it is nice to have him around more.
My daughter continues her mix of creative brilliance combined with strong opinions on current affairs.
My youngest son and I have had huge joy this week playing with fire!
Apparently cheerfulness also means the quality of causing happiness. I am discovering by allowing myself to be happier, it almost inevitably results in those around me being happier too.
It’s a time for snuggles and lazy hours in between spurts of creativity and brilliance.
More mundane thoughts include being over the moon that I have several bin bags ready for the tip tomorrow and more for the charity shop. I am finally working out that streamlining the house a little makes housework so much easier.
What cheerfulness means varies from individual to individual and from week to week. Will you celebrate that will the Reasons to be Cheerful blog hop?
How are you cheering others?
Playing with fire is dangerous. Should we do it and if so under what circumstances?
I like candles and my son was watching me light them the other day. He wanted to have a go. All my protective instincts screamed no. Then I reflected that he will need to strike a match (and out on his own!) at some point in his life. So I let him try and after a few failed attempts he was delighted to see the flame.
Today he said he wanted to do some science and burn different types of material. Again, this sent me into a panic and then I decided to just go with it. We had over a hour of playing with fire and noticed how different materials really do burn in a very different way and at different speeds. He even learned what a Tampax was for the first time as I had heard they are great for getting a bonfire going.
Whilst we marveled at the different shapes of flames we listened to a Horrible Histories audio book about the Rotten Romans noticing how often humour was used and also alliteration. There may have been a role-play session on the murder of Caesar!
In the end we had a full morning of full on fun and learning.
So as I have a cuppa and a think, I compare home education to playing with fire. So many people tell you it is dangerous to go down this route and nobody more so than yourself sometimes. Yet when you stop stressing it and throw yourself into it with gusto, it is a delight and memorable learning takes place not just for the child but for the parent too.
There is movement and laughter. There is risk-taking and caution too. That sounds pretty much life life really and that is what we are educating our kids for right?
There was a sad woman on telly
who hoped she was shrinking my belly
She said Brand New You
I escaped to the loo
And went to the kitchen for jelly!
Dedicated to Lorraine Kelly.
Treating nosebleeds is something most parents have had to do at some point. Do you now what to do if your child has a nosebleed?
I find my daughter is prone to nosebleeds. She used to have the odd idea that they came every Halloween! My sons don’t have them often at all. In fact my 11 year old had one this morning and it took him totally by surprise.
I remember the first time my daughter has a nosebleed my husband said she should tip her head back and I disagreed drawing on some distant memory of my first aid training at Brownies.
So here is what you should do when you are treating a nosebleed.
If your child is under 2 year of age, seek medical advice immediately as this is rare and may suggest something serious.
Encourage your child to sit down and firmly pinch the soft part of their nose just above the nostrils.
Don’t rush it – they should do this for at least 10 minutes.
I was right. Your little one should lean forward and breathe through their mouth so the blood does not go down the back of their throat.
You could place an ice park (or pack of frozen peas or veg of your choice!) on the bridge of their nose covered by a towel.
Staying sitting up discourages further bleeding.
One of the most vital things you can do for your child is not to panic. As in any situation if you act confidently they feel safe and secure.
If the bleeding does not stop are your child has recurrent nosebleeds, seek medical advice.
Once your child has stopped bleeding, recovery and prevention of infection is helped by:
- Not blowing or picking their nose
- Not engaging in any major exercise.
- Avoiding hot drinks for 24 hours
- Avoiding anyone with coughs or colds
For help on any health matters, check out NHS Choices.
What is your experience of treating nosebleeds in the family?
This post is brought to you by the ex-pert mum by no means an expert but definitely ex-pert.