I have a great reason to be cheerful this week. We have a relocation to the South of England in the mix.
Over the Easter weekend, we will be moving to pastures new and reuniting as a family. This delights me on so many levels. It means the Royal British Legion despite their best efforts could not keep us down forever. It gives my husband and myself an opportunity to enjoy being a couple rather than working through a list of tasks. I think the opportunities for the children will be fantastic. What if one of them took up sailing and carried on Dad’s great love for the sea? I will be closer to London when exciting opportunities come my way as they do from time to time. I will be able to suggest a show in London without it seeming daft. We will be near my beloved sea which is so good for my body, heart and soul. I have needed a fresh start/kick up my immense bottom for some time and this will be a great catalyst to a good future.
Thinking about it, I loved living in the South of England. I left purely because my ex did me over emotionally and financially. That was 16 years ago!! I swore to my Dad that I would not stay put in Yorkshire but then I met my now husband and had 3 children and plans to return South went out of my mind.
I actually have butterflies with the excitement of it all. It still feels slightly unreal and I have not seen the new house yet so I hope it is as nice as my husband says it is. However, it does not really matter. What matters is leaving this terrible year behind us and starting afresh.
This is probably very arrogant but can I just say a big “Well done us!” for holding it together through a lot of stress. Yes we had screaming, rows, tears, depression but we are here and we are a family. Big thanks to Auntie you know who you are, my brother and lovely online friends who kept me hopeful with tweets, emails, blog comments and cards.
Writing my Dad’s memoirs I see his service number began with P for Portsmouth so I sense he had a very big hand in all this.
Feeling quite giddy.
Loads more reasons to be cheerful too but this one is the giant one!
BritMums Live 2014 – free ticket available to one very special blogger.
Today is a day I have looked forward to for some time plotting with my friend Elizabeth to sprinkle a little fairy dust.
Who wants to go to BritMums Live? We have a FREE ticket to giveaway.
Last year, I did a Golden Ticket as I wanted somebody to experience the joys and surprises that I had at BritMums Live 2012.
Being me, I said I would go very much on instinct as to who should get the ticket. Lots applied of course some bloggers that I knew and some that I didn’t.
I had narrowed it down to two potential recipients in my own mind so asked my husband to help me choose between them. As I worked through the emailed entries with him, a new email pinged into my inbox. Pretty much from the first line, it was clear that it would be difficult not to go with this new entrant. It felt like reading an email I would write myself. It felt like somebody I would like to get to know better. It felt right.
I still mulled it over to be absolutely sure and asked further questions of the three main contenders.
How delighted I am that I chose Elizabeth. I stressed that she did not have to feel any future duty-type connection with me but I think we have become friends over the last year or so. I have needed that friendship in ways that I never envisaged at the start of last year.
Elizabeth has bought a ticket and we are giving it away. You can check out all the details on Elizabeth’s pos
We want you to give us your email address as we will be sending you an email but basically all we will ask you to do is to say why you would like the ticket. You don’t have to try to be clever or witty. Just tell us your thoughts and feelings about why you want to.
We will then gather in a top secret location with cocktails (bit of a fantasy that bit!) and make our decision.
I can’t wait to find out where the fairy dust will fall this time and what magic it might bring.
Don’t stress it – just apply and see what happens.
I used to work in Action Learning where I learned about the power of open questions. So it suddenly came to be that instead of walking around feeling dissatisfied, it would be a good idea to ask what is wrong.
1. Separation – the distance between myself and my husband is not working well for us. There is the pressure to find a new home which merely replaces the search that went before. Currently, we are all about what needs sorting and not about enjoying and relating to each other. This leads to tension inevitably which upsets both of us.
Action point – secure a new home soon.
2. Lack of friends – this is a big one for me. The truth is that when you spend your days at home, making friends is not going to happen except online. I think initial answers to getting out may involve volunteering and/or study. Where that takes place should follow on from where we find a new home.
Action point – stop accepting a lack of friends as my lot in life and start doing something about it.
3. Self-image – I am fat and frumpy. This is not good physically but also drags me down mentally on bleaker days. I know how to lose weight and I can do that. I actually believed they might have cut me out of the Tesco Mum of the Year Awards television coverage for being too ugly. That is very flawed thinking and in fact I did appear. I saw myself as perhaps others do and liked my new hair do and colour and my sensitive face. Someone told me I had very lovely skin this week and I was ridiculously thrilled with that. Perhaps I should start pointing out my good bits instead of bad bits.
Action point – commence a healthy eating and fitness plan. Accentuate the positive.
4. Making a difference in the world – I have always wanted to do this. I feel I need a new cause to get my teeth into. Charity, politics, something.
Action pint – investigate who or what could make use of my skills
5. Turn back to life
I came across a sympathy card amongst mum and dad’s things. Perhaps since Mum made that telephone call 5 years ago, I have been guilty of turning away from life a bit/a lot. Perhaps I found this card or it was left for me at just the right time. I find it a very powerful message and just need to work out the full meaning. How can I comfort hearts and what are those dear unfinished tasks?
Action point – turn back to life. Carry on the legacy of Mum and Dad.
It’s April Fool’s Day and I think I might be the fool.
I say this as I seem not to understand what is going on in this world right now.
Today, we are encouraged to eat 7 portions of fruit and vegetables per day so that we can all live longer. This is only a few minutes after we were told fruit is dangerous because of the sugar content. What is this obsession with living longer anyway? Our society is not currently equipped to deal in a way that meets the economic and social needs of an ageing population. Yet here we are are carrying out research studies into how to ensure we all live to the age of 200. If we do who is going to pay for us and who is going to care for us?
Then on social media and television programmes, women are making a big deal about not wearing make-up as if it is some brave feat. I do it all the time. I must be due a Pride of Britain Award any day based just on this fact. I won’t make myself popular by saying it but it worries me that some women seem quite so terrified at the idea of being seen in public as they really are. Who has given them that message? Whose purposes does it serve? By the way, I am no way saying it is not great to do things to raise money for charity but I just wonder on this particular campaign what it says about womankind.
The parenting police tell us every day how we are doing it all wrong giving conflicting guidance so we are guilt-ridden which I actually can’t think is good for our children. My parents smoking in the car was the very thing that turned me off trying cigarettes. Fattening goods and salt played a huge part in family food when I was a kid yet my parents both lived into their eighties. Guess what? We even had meals on our laps most of the time in front of the telly and yet we managed family conversation. Again, I am not saying smoking in cars is good – I am merely saying that life pans out and eventually ends whatever the research studies say.
It’s true I am an April Fool and actually if the world keeps going weird on me, I don’t want to live to 200 anyway.
A charmer of sorts
Of no interest initially
A birthday peck on the cheek
And then he bought a raffle ticket
Which made me look at him in a different way
And he won
So we went on a weekend break
After a coffee date
That I still don’t know why I agreed to
Ignoring those who said he was sinister
And then the big secret
That shall not be named
And then finding a birth certificate
For his birthdate but not his name
Pretend it is not so
He says all the right things
And a gun – what is that about?
And I always was naive
Being let down
Bashed in the nose
Or was it?
Princess. Babe. Confusing romance.
The wake-up call
If you think the Widower could not happen to you
Be afraid, be very afraid.