The rather wonderful Caroline Flack who blogs anonymously as MishMashMum has tagged me asking 10 deep and meaningful questions.
She tells me these are the rules of the game.
1) Answer the 10 questions
2) Tag someone to do the same
3) Come back to my original blog post and comment that you have done so in order for us to find out who has been tagged and therefore find out more about our fellow bloggers!
1: Describe yourself in seven words:
Shy, warm-hearted, passionate, moody, driven, creative, witty
2: What keeps you awake at night?
As a teenager, it was listening to my radio under the covers. At college and in my twenties, it was lustful thoughts of various crushes. Since becoming a Mum, it is children. Even though I am way past the babies and toddlers stage, my children do like their cuddles. I enjoy them too so have no problem if they creep into bed with me (don’t tell the parenting police!) It is fine unless two get on either side of me and fall asleep at which point I end up crushed in the middle. Him Indoors also keeps me awake when he puts on the light to read in the middle of the night or when he snores. Sexual shenanigans.
3. Who would you like to be?
A confident version of me with a meaningful role in life. An author that can write well about issues of concern to women.
4: What are you wearing now?
Jeans and a glittery top under a black jumper. Trainers. Knickers unlike many mums tagged apparently. And a duvet when I have finished this post.
5: What scares you?
The idea of losing a child or children.
It also frightens me how you can be really close to someone and not know them at all and be very badly let down. This has happened to me twice or maybe three times and leaves me with issues around trust.
I am not great with mice, rats and snakes.
Public Speaking is a bit of a fear although I have got over that to an extent.
I also worry about not fulfilling my potential although a big part of me probably thinks it is too late now. I really don’t want my epitaph to be “She was mediocre”.
6: What is the best and the worst thing about blogging?
Blogging is a sanctuary where I can be myself, warts and all. My blog always accepts me as I am and the great thing is that an awful lot of people out there seem to like what they see too. For someone very lacking in confidence, that is a real boost and has changed my life for the better.
The worst thing about blogging is that it distracts me from pursuing other writing and trying to make money from my skills (assuming I have some)
7: What was the last website you looked at?
Netmums where I was looking at the Nearly New boards and arranging a collection of something rather lovely which I am sure I will reveal in a future post.
8: If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
7 weeks ago I would have said to lose weight but hey, that journey is a successful work in progress with one and a half stones gone already. What I would love to have is charisma and more confidence.
9: Slankets Yes or No!?
Yes as you might have guessed from a previous answer.
10: Tell us something about the person who tagged you?
Mishmashmum is a blogger who tells it like it is. She is a thinker and a feeler. She listens, she questions and she challenges. Like many of us, sometimes she struggles and sometimes she celebrates. She is all that and Olly should consider himself a very lucky man. Her blog is rather superb so give it a visit http://mishmashmum.com/
Right, time to pass on the baton to
Will leave it at 5 so that there are others left to tag.
Well, what about my answers? Did you like them?
I had a pleasant evening last night and fell asleep on the sofa. When I woke up towards 11pm, I was in a foul mood. Nothing had changed apart from how I was feeling.
An argument with Him Indoors ensused. I had an idea that I was pre-menstrual but when in the grip, it makes far more sense to rant at the world and its husband in general. When I am like this, I am very insecure but instead of seeking reassurance, I lash out with wild accusations based on nowt or nowt much. This does not make for marital harmony.
I am less patient with the children and animals too. To be honest, I just want everyone out of my face. I remember how with good female friends when students we used to curl up on sofas and eat chocolate at these times whilst watching nonsese on the telly. Men just don’t join in like that, do they?
This morning, I felt like wallowing but managed to write my #groovingmums post. I can’t be bothered with people when feeling vaguely yucky but not enough to be ill. There is also that lacklustre feeling and a lack of motivation to do owt really.
I did not go out with my Dad as I normally do and enjoyed some me time. I laughed at myself a bit on Twitter and on the blog. Therapeutic stuff. Then I thought I would do something constructive and look up PMT on the internet. Most pissed off to be told it affects people aged 20-40 years. Bloody Hell! I am even too old for PMT. Menopause and hip replacements here I come. Oh, the deep joy of being a woman!
Dad came in asking why charities ask for money at Christmas as if it were my own personal fault they do so. “You know about charities” says he. Yes, I worked for charities but only a tiny minority of them and they are a very diverse bunch. He had his view and was not to be moved. I had to really concentrate hard not to snap. “They should ask for money from businesses”. Tried to argue that yes they do and companies do offer support but that did not fit in with his world view. I hate clashing with Dad so retreated back to my cuppa and the sofa.
I hate pre-menstrual tension and I hate our society does not work round the real lives of women. Why can’t we all have a few days in a posh hotel paid for by the state when we are feeling this way? Why can’t working women have proper flexible working so they can fit in little inconveniences like PMT? Why don’t they cover things like pre-menstrual tension, post-natal depression and the realities of women’s lives in our education system?
Now in any other circumstance, having a good rant like this would lift the black clouds but PMT does not work like that. Come on virtual friends, hand me some cyber chocolate and take me away from it all.
Who were my 5 high school crushes?
Go back to my very first celebrity crush and mention Orinoco from the Wombles. Yes really and I actually was very tempted to buy a cuddly Orinico in a charity shop recently. I googled him and apparently he was a shirker who liked food and sleep. What does that say about me I wonder?
In desperation, I asked my best friend from high school. Nope, she could not recall any particular crushes on my part. She tried to help with suggestions such as Tom Cruise. I have never liked Tom Cruise at all. I remember a male friend’s mum asking whether I thought he looked like Tom Cruise and she was offended when I said no. I meant it as a compliment. I seem to remember my friend from high school having a thing about Terence Trent D’Arby.
There were people that fascinated me such as Boy George and his friend Marilyn. I did not fancy them as such though.
Right, as I am shirking from the task in Orinoco like fashion, here we go.
1. Nick Berry – He was in Eastenders and then in Heartbeat. I used to sit in a tortured state whilst watching Eastenders with my mum as every time he came on the screen, my face would burn up. He used to lean over the bar of the Vic and I could hear my heart practically leaping out of my chest. Didn’t he end up with the older Gillian Taylforth at some point? I seem to remember thinking the whole idea of that quite nauseating.
2. Peter Howitt or rather Joey Boswell. Here is how he is described on the internet. A 1980s epitome of cool, with big hair and a leather jacket, he acknowledges people with “greetings”, and drives to the dole office in a Jag. That description nails it really as I loved the Eighties and remain firmly stuck in that decade. I still love big hair, leather jackets and suddenly have worked out why my car of choice is a jag. Joey had a girlfriend called Roxy and I remember wanting to change my name to Roxy.
3. Derek Thompson who played Charlie Fairhead in Casualty. I can remember confessing this one to a fellow lodger in the early nineties and she thought it was the funniest thing she ever heard. She fancied Ash and she kept going round the house shrieking, “Charlie? Charlie!” in disbelief.
4. Michael Landon who played Charles Ingalls in Little House on the Prarie. I am not sure when Little House was made but I watched in always including in my High School period so it counts for me. Who would not want a bloke like Charles Ingalls with all that manly strength, love for his family and ability to respond to whatever life threw at him.
5. Michael Hutchence from INXS. Do I really need to explain that one? I think this was the only real teenage crush where I gave in to a huge poster on my bedroom wall. Beautiful and naughty, a sort of Australian version of Joey Boswell lol.
I got over Nick Berry.
I never got over the Eighties, leather, big hair, jaguars and the wish to be called Roxy.
I never found a doctor as nice as Charlie.
In many ways, I married Charles Ingalls although he laughed the other day and said I just graduated from Orinoco to Great Uncle Bulgaria.
I could still get seriously worked up about Michael Hutchence.