Changing my perspective

I am becoming more aware of changing my perspective.

me

Looking back, a lot of my blogging was about challenging issues such as terminal illness, bereavement, redundancy, parenting issues and depression.

I tried to be open and honest for my own therapy and apparently people found that inspiring. I even got nominated for awards for being so miserable!

I have always said that when I wrote my first Grooving Mums post way back when it was more about trying to find out if I was mad or if there was anybody else who felt the way I did. I did not know that I was opening the floodgates and that actually I was not as mad or as different as I thought.

I hated myself for being fat and ugly.

I have taken charge of my weight and the truth that I now see that I have my own individual beauty.

I was isolated and had no close friends.

I now have many friends and in fact find it a challenge to keep up with them all. That is a big change and it is good to not only have online friends but people I get to see in the real world too.

I thought I would never work again.

I got that one wrong too! I just needed to reinvent myself career wise as many mums do as they try to juggle it all.

I thought it was my fault when my partner looked at dating sites.

I now realise that when someone is a twit, it is all about them. Nothing to do with me at all – I am an attractive, intelligent, feisty, witty, creative and caring woman. In fact if I joined a dating site I would probably be inundated with offers. My husband is a lovely man but just like me and probably you, he gets it badly wrong sometimes.

I thought getting into debt as a student and other financial issues would give me a poor credit history for life. I know about such matters so this was ridiculous of me. I looked at my credit file this week and got the great news that I am creditworthy.

I found housework overwhelming so the house was too often a tip.

These days I keep on top of things enough and if the house is a mess it usually means I have made the choice to focus on fundamentally more life-affirming stuff. My late Mum said her only regret in life was that she had done too much cleaning.

I asked for some particular assistance this week and not one person came forward. Years ago, a friend told me that I had a very good heart and I celebrate that. I would always do my utmost to help where I could and that makes me a very special soul.

Am I bigging myself up? Isn’t it about time?!

So yes I am changing my perspective and I think that is one big reason to be cheerful.

10 Comments

  1. Sarah christie July 17, 2015 / 8:55 pm

    Kate not sure what help you asked for but I hope you have got the help you needed. You are doing so well have made so many positive changes in your life and are starting to believe that you are an incredible person x

    • Kate Davis-Holmes
      Author
      July 19, 2015 / 10:04 am

      I am OK and that is good enough. We all are really – it just takes some of us longer than others to see it clearly

  2. Looking for Blue Sky July 18, 2015 / 8:10 am

    I also hope you got the help you needed, and I’m so glad that your Mum said that to you about cleaning, it’s made me feel better too, as it’s an area of my life that I find hard to focus on.

    • Kate Davis-Holmes
      Author
      July 19, 2015 / 10:03 am

      You are far too interesting a person to get caught up in endless cleaning and I am so pleased my Mum’s legacy lives on through her wise words.

  3. The Beesley Buzz July 18, 2015 / 3:20 pm

    what wise words from your dear mum. and lots of inspiring wisdom from you too in this blogpost. x

    • Kate Davis-Holmes
      Author
      July 19, 2015 / 10:03 am

      Thanks. I am going to make a list of important bloggers and put you right up there so I keep in touch more often. I too love Mum’s final thoughts on life – do less cleaning!

  4. Kate Davis-Holmes
    Author
    July 19, 2015 / 10:02 am

    You made my day with such an adorable comment. I can’t imagine why you would ever hate yourself as find you wonderful but then again, we are too often our own worst enemies but as we both know that can change

  5. Kate Davis-Holmes
    Author
    July 19, 2015 / 10:02 am

    Thanks Cathy – you are always such a support and I really do appreciate it

  6. Ojo Henley July 20, 2015 / 3:04 pm

    This is officially the BEST post you have ever written!!! I love that you are changing your attitude.

    Now, can you come and sprinkle some of that magic over me??? xx

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