Get out and get cheerful

I have felt a bit out of sorts for a few weeks. Always moody, my emotions have gone all over the place. I seem hyper-sensitive and this does not make for happy times particularly with Him Indoors.

I saw my GP about 2 weeks ago and he prescribed some anti-depressants and gave me details of counselling services. I sensed there was a whole new world waiting for me. That same day I became ill and it ruined my Half-Term break in Yorkshire. Eventually I ended up at hospital and the nurse looked so concerned and told me there was a real risk I was diabetic and that I should seek my own GP’s advice as a matter or urgency. To cut a long story short, a huge big reason to be cheerful today is that having had just about every blood test available to womankind, it appears I am physically fine. This also means I can start taking the anti-depressants as I did not want to take them until diabetes had been ruled out. It also means that I can reward a generous fate by finally sorting out my weight issues.

This week I also took time out to apply myself and to pursue a dream. I feel proud of myself and as ever bloggers showed themselves incredibly supportive. I am writing that novel at last and really committing to doing hundreds and thousands of words every day. My mum’s legacy can be more than a blog even if I end up self-publishing.

Today we went for a walk. I asked the children to look out for certain colours and numbers. We took photographs of our findings. They seemed to like this game. We went to the shop for some treats and got into a really amusing conversation about Frozen with the male shop assistant. I found myself bantering and giggling and it felt good.

I have moved forwards in making links with home education groups and we have plans to attend one next week. It will be good for the children and if I can overcome my shyness, it will be great for me too.

My son turns 14 at the weekend. I am looking forward to treating him. I am blessed with a sensitive, kind-hearted, intelligent and funny boy. He made me smile this week when his teacher told him “You have a very unique perspective on the world”. That’s my boy and I love him. There is a photo of me when I had given birth to him and my smile is so beautiful and you can see the happiness oozing out of me. Time for me to get back to that and if that means popping a pill and talking to a counsellor, so be it. Why do I always have to the strong one?

3 thoughts on “Get out and get cheerful”

  1. what a relief about the diabetes! Happy birthday to your son – I can just imagine that photo you describe with the happiness oozing out. There’s something about becoming a mum that is so amazing and special – I remember seeing a lady who had just given birth moments before when I was pregnant with J and she was just beaming – Despite not having a clue who she was I just beamed with a huge smile too and felt so proud of her. Then when Miss T was born I remember leaving the hospital with her in her car seat and I couldn’t help but grin all the time.

    Your last few words there remind me of something I saw going round on facebook a while ago and it really rang true it was a quote along the lines of someone who has depression or mental health issues (i can’t remember the exact wording) is not someone who is weak – it is a sign of someone who has been strong for too long. When I eventually saw a counsellor last year, she pretty much said the same to me and how if I didn’t take care of myself and put more importance on looking after myself, then everything would fall apart because I had been having to stay strong for so long holding it all together and I couldn’t carry on like that forever.

    I really hope you find a great counsellor who can help you find you again. xxx

  2. You always say about how positive I am, we’ll I’m where I am now, because my medication is right! Thank goodness for modern medicine and all it has to offer. Take the councillor option too, I think it would help you no end.

    Always remember, you don’t have to be the strong one……. but don’t let anyone think you weak either xxxxx

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