Is delaying things a good or bad idea?

Is putting things off a good or bad idea? I suspect delaying things can be both depending on the situation involved. The Best Boot Forward questions this week are all about such matters so I will answer them as best I can.

Delaying Things

1.What are you putting off?

I am putting less things off to be honest partly because I faced up to the fact that I was doing so when I wrote these questions last week. Paperwork of various sorts was getting on top of me and I worked out if it was stressing me out so much I would probably feel way better for tackling it.

In my life, I have put off looking after my mental and physical wellbeing. That has changed in recent years and although there is more work to do on the physical side of things, I am taking action and feeling better for that. Never neglect your wellbeing – it is not good for you but also terrible for those around you.

The other area I put off was looking after my relationship. Who knew? They take work and hard work at that. Like many mums, I put the children first which is great but can mean you neglect who you are and also who the “us” that  made the children in the first place is/was. At the start of the year I reflected that my marriage was stale. Somehow again the magic of acknowledging that has made things improve. We are going out more, communicating better and perhaps learning to adapt to a new chapter in our lives. I am still not 100 per cent happy with the relationship but the friendship that got us together in the first place is back and that’s a good foundation for future progress.

2.How does putting it off make you feel?

Putting things off like paperwork and work tasks ends up making me feel very stressed. In fact last week it resulted in tears which is most unusual these days. I knew that was a warning sign and took action.

Putting off looking after my wellbeing resulted in 10 years of depression and mental health difficulties. The only good to come of that is that I can hopefully act as a warning to others and also that I really value my happiness nowadays.

Putting off the work on my relationship made me seriously question  whether I wanted to stay in it. It also led to boredom on both sides. We had different strategies for dealing with that but we could have kept the spark if we had watched our partnership with a little more vigilance along the way.

3.What would happen if you took action instead of procrastinating?

It appears that taking action even if baby steps does work wonders but also makes me feel empowered. I have really recognised that the tiniest step taken should be celebrated and that suddenly a momentum builds up and things can change radically for the better.

4.How risky is the gamble you are taking by putting something off?

They say life is too short. My brother died young last year but he lived in a full-on way whilst he was on the planet despite health issues from a very early age. That gave me great comfort during the grieving journey. I hope when I die my children can say that I lived!

Some things can be put off positively I think. I don’t need to write that novel. I don’t need to be a perfect mum or educator. I should make my own choices and they may be new ones.

Well those are my thoughts on delaying things in life for what they are worth.

10 thoughts on “Is delaying things a good or bad idea?”

  1. I’m with you on prioritising what can be put off and what needs doing, writing a book may be something we want to do, but it’s not something we need to do #bestbootforward

  2. A very honest and open post. Thank you for sharing so candidly. I think we all end up putting the paperwork and things off as it’s just so rotten but you’re right it is a relief when it’s done. As with many things starting is the hardest part. Also with personal stuff even knowing where to start can be a task. It sounds as though you both have made a concerted effort and with your relationship and things are looking much better than at the start of the year which can lead to all sorts of positives. Relationships are a difficult balance and go through ebbs and flows like everything else but they’re so integral to the foundations of our lives. As always putting your Best Boot Forward x

  3. Yes it’s definitely working out what the results of putting something off will be.

    We cannot rush to do everything all at once (or we’d be over stretched and fail) but we need to be intelligent about what to prioritise first.

  4. So many of your questions and answers have rung a bell with me. I have spent so long investing in my children that all other considerations have been pushed to one side. My health has suffered and I really do struggle to put myself and my own needs to the front. #mmbc

  5. I think the biggest difficulty is knowing where to start, when I eventually get to that point the rest fits in. I’m terrible at putting things off and I’m sure it doesn’t help with my anxiety. It’s always a huge relief when you get those things done you put off for so long so I should just do them. Thank you for including me as part of the #bestfootforward it’s a truely lovely place to be xx

  6. They say that delayed gratification makes the reward all the sweeter. I guess the wisdom comes in recognising what should be delayed and what should be enjoyed as you never know when it will be your last opportunity as you say in the case of your dear brother. Thanks for sharing some of your personal journey. #TheMMLinky

  7. Reflection is good, necessary for some perhaps. (me included). I’m constantly in danger of turning that reflection into daydreams and procrastination which leads to frustration at not having time to do stuff and really gets me down. I really try to limit my reflection time but it’s not easy! #TheMMLinky

  8. I love that second question – how does putting it off make you feel. That is something I will definitely consider in the future. Thanks for this, Kate.

  9. You’re such an honest lady, Kate. I take my hat off to you. As much as we love our children and would do anything for them, we do need to look after ourselves. It is so easy to forget that. Since having my 4 small kids my husband and I have only ever had one date alone… in 7 years!!! On Tuesday we are off to a gig. Child free. I can tell that it is going to do wonders for our relationship. x

  10. Thank you for sharing this. Glad to hear things are better relationship-wise lately x #TheMMLinky

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