I try to be nice. It is how I was brought up and I am pleased about that. I try to support friends and family members. I have started to wonder recently if it is possible to be too nice. Is it ever OK to say that something is not good enough? I am not sure it is yet so as ever I use my blog as my sanctuary to get some feelings out.
Here are some things that I think are not good enough in my life.
Saying it is just the way you are
This is such a convenient get out clause for bad behaviour. People can change so if you behave badly and hurt someone it is not OK to say that it is just the way you are. Or rather perhaps I can say that if that is the way you are I am not sure I want to be around you.
Not communicating information that I need to know
Sometimes I have lots of things to juggle so if there is information I need to know for my own financial and emotional wellbeing, please share it. I find I handle things better when I have information even if it is unwelcome information or means hard times are ahead.
My late mother always said she could handle anything except lies and I think I am the same. Don’t tell me you did not set up profiles on websites if you did. Don’t say you were not somewhere when you were. Don’t tell me time and distance prevented my brother seeing myself and my children when that is so clearly not true as that same (now dead) brother found time to travel the world during the very time he chose not to see me or my children. That’s fine by me but don’t abuse my intelligence by saying it was otherwise please.
Don’t claim to be a friend if the reality is you don’t want to see me again
Friends see each other perhaps not often but sometimes. Or that’s my definition of friendship anyway. There are so many people I would love to see again and through Facebook and so on you really start to think they would be the same but find out actually you just don’t matter to them that much. And that’s a shame. You will keep some because you love them anyway of course but friendship to me means sharing and ideally making new memories together.
So what is this post about? Perhaps I am moving on to a new place in my life where certain people are making me feel so very good about myself. Now I am less isolated, perhaps I am choosing to put up with less poor behaviours. It seems I can have positive people in my world even if family members and old friends are not around for me.
Perhaps I am just entering a new chapter. A time when I look after myself more and focus on those who actually want to treat me well. Perhaps it is about time.
Is it ever OK to say something is not good enough? I guess the truth is we have to set our own standards of what is and what is not good enough. In fact it is all about being honest about that, communicating it and being a good friend to ourselves.
Don’t like what I have written? Oh sorry – it is just the way I am!