Looking at things more positively with the great “What if?”

Looking at things more positively is going to be my goal after a challenging couple of weeks. In fact, I want to look back on my entire life and rebrand it a little or the key moments anyway.

Life is short

It is true that life is an episode and it can be a short one as we find out when we lose loved ones. My brother died last year having worked so hard all his life to have no retirement to enjoy. He has loads of possessions but as my dear late mum used to say so often you really can’t take them with you once the Grim Reaper shows up. It’s time for me to stop the negative self-talk, live for today  and start demanding more from myself and others so that I am the positive lady in  the room at all times.

Asking questions

One thing I am going to do and I will be blogging some of it is the totally go back to the key moments in my life and ask the question “What if?” I am thinking it would be good to question in that way and to work out what if I got things wrong. I used to take part in and also facilitate Action Learning Sets for Managers. I know some powerful shifts in thinking can come about by asking questions, developing action points and then revisiting those actions on a regular basis. If it works in the workplace, I feel it can be equally effective in my personal life. I guess I will find out.
What if being adopted was a good thing and not a total rejection proving that I am worthless?
My life was blighted by extreme insecurity making me grateful for any degree of acceptance and sometimes to my absolute detriment. Even now I can have my insecure moments.
What if a sometimes challenging relationship with  family members said more about them than myself?
None of us are perfect and yet it is so easy to think that our family are or to blame ourselves if things go awry. My mother has a terrible childhood blighted by discrimination, poverty and abuse. Is it any wonder that she sometimes found life tough and could be verbally tough on myself who had it so much easier?  My brother probably resented the baby of the family who came when they were in their late teens and was treated in such a special way. This is all  OK in the end. It is just life but I no longer need to apologise for existing or being who I am either.
What if people have always liked me and wanted to be my friend?
What if I was/am attractive to men after all?
What  if leaving a legal career was the right choice all along?
What if I could change my career again? I am not sure I want to but what if I could? What opportunities might come my way?
What if I am not weak in my marriage but actually amazingly strong for sticking with it?
What if my slightly chaotic parenting is actually a really good way to ensure the children stay mentally well?
What if I am a far better home educator than I think I am?
What if I am on the cusp on a whole new and exciting chapter?

A new focus

I am also going to focus on important things in life as defined by myself rather than other people or some social media image of perfection. I started living that way today and I have a smile on my face so it is working.
Shaking things up
So as you can see I think I have some great ideas to shake things up in my life and to look at things more positively moving forward. I think looking back with my “What if?” questions might prove very therapeutic.
In fact, even having just written this post and not gone into any great depth  on the questions, I already feel a sense of lightness and more balance.
I will get writing the posts on my key moments soon and feel quite excited by where that might lead in my new chapter.
What do you think?

Lucy At Home

My Random Musings
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16 Comments

  1. Kirsty May 29, 2018 / 12:59 pm

    I think we are naturally so self critical and down on ourselves so it is lovely to see this way of thinking about things. What if indeed. Perhaps a lot of what we see does us an injustice and perhaps some of what we feel does say more about the insecurities of others. I also find there are huge pivotal moments in life, moments that can seem like any other normal section in time but in hindsight the decision made at that moment cause ripples in our lives for much longer than we could have appreciated. For example I made a quick decision to take a job where I met my future husband. A few choices had lead to that moment and it is fascinating to look back and think that something so innocuous has had such a profound affect on my life. Thank you for joining #ThursdayTeam. You have got my brain ticking away.

  2. Sara @ Magical Mama Blog May 29, 2018 / 3:12 pm

    Love this! What a brilliant way to spin your thoughts and push yourself to become more positive! Definitely going to adopt some of these questions into my thoughts each day! Thank you for the inspiration!
    #TriumphantTales

  3. Helena May 29, 2018 / 3:22 pm

    It’s interesting what you come up with when you look at things in different lights. This is not so easy when you are still caught up in the action. #ThursdayTeam

  4. Tubbs May 29, 2018 / 8:59 pm

    Sounds exciting. Good luck with figuring it all out 🙂

  5. Lucy At Home May 30, 2018 / 7:22 pm

    What a great idea! I love the “What if?” questions you’ve listed already. There are definitely some what ifs I could ask myself too – what if people are telling the truth when they pay me a compliment? being the first one that jumps out at me…! You’ve got my mind buzzing and I’m looking forward to seeing your own journey unfold. #blogcrush

  6. Rebecca Greenway June 1, 2018 / 8:43 am

    This is an awesome post, i always have to try and remember to push past the what ifs. Its so hard though.

  7. Enda Sheppard June 1, 2018 / 10:11 am

    It’s a theme I keep returning to myself: the need to reframe thing in a more positive light. It can only be a ;positive thing. #BlogCrush

  8. Old Mumma June 1, 2018 / 12:10 pm

    We are the masters of our own destiny, good luck Kate i hope you find a more happier, positive you. #BlogCrush

  9. Sarah June 1, 2018 / 5:04 pm

    I never thought of reframing the what-if questions like that. Cool!! #blogcrush

  10. Kim June 3, 2018 / 12:07 pm

    Great idea, taking on more positive possibilities. #Blogcrush

  11. Kirsty Hall June 3, 2018 / 12:19 pm

    My what ifs are always catastrophising. I love the idea of what ifs in a positive way. Thanks for linking with the #DreamTeam this week

  12. Lisa Pomerantz June 3, 2018 / 7:07 pm

    Positivity is always good, in my book! Great post! #blogcrush xo

  13. Claire Saul June 3, 2018 / 8:23 pm

    I love this post! I read it earlier in the week, left it open to come back to comment and am so glad I did. Today I have had a pain flare in my chronic illness and feel pretty rubbish. This is just the extra boost I needed to keep things positive and ask the What If question….as a former palliative care nurse and having lost my best friend aged 37 to cancer, I would like to think I do have this mentality and it helps me through ill health demons. Hubby would call it being bloody minded!! I going to share this on my regular PainPalsBlog feature tomorrow – Monday Magic Inspiring Blogs for You

  14. Wendy June 7, 2018 / 4:00 pm

    Love this! Definitely think that being more positive it so so important. I think it’s great you want to always be the positive lady in the room. I hope life starts to pick up for you now and that these little changes make a big difference xx #blogcrush

  15. Noleen Miller June 7, 2018 / 7:53 pm

    Positivity is so important and giving gratitude for the good that is happening in our lives. A thought provoking post #blogcrush

  16. nic@nipitinthebud July 19, 2018 / 10:49 pm

    I really like this post Kate. It’s so easy to think ”What If…” in a fretful way in advance of something that’s worrying us but to be reflective after the event is a really interesting challenge. It reminds me of the parable of the blind men who feel an elephant to understand what it is but all have a different perspective on it after feeling different parts of it. #BestBootForward

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