Looking at things more positively is going to be my goal after a challenging couple of weeks. In fact, I want to look back on my entire life and rebrand it a little or the key moments anyway.
Life is short
It is true that life is an episode and it can be a short one as we find out when we lose loved ones. My brother died last year having worked so hard all his life to have no retirement to enjoy. He has loads of possessions but as my dear late mum used to say so often you really can’t take them with you once the Grim Reaper shows up. It’s time for me to stop the negative self-talk, live for today and start demanding more from myself and others so that I am the positive lady in the room at all times.
One thing I am going to do and I will be blogging some of it is the totally go back to the key moments in my life and ask the question “What if?” I am thinking it would be good to question in that way and to work out what if I got things wrong. I used to take part in and also facilitate Action Learning Sets for Managers. I know some powerful shifts in thinking can come about by asking questions, developing action points and then revisiting those actions on a regular basis. If it works in the workplace, I feel it can be equally effective in my personal life. I guess I will find out.
What if being adopted was a good thing and not a total rejection proving that I am worthless?
My life was blighted by extreme insecurity making me grateful for any degree of acceptance and sometimes to my absolute detriment. Even now I can have my insecure moments.
What if a sometimes challenging relationship with family members said more about them than myself?
None of us are perfect and yet it is so easy to think that our family are or to blame ourselves if things go awry. My mother has a terrible childhood blighted by discrimination, poverty and abuse. Is it any wonder that she sometimes found life tough and could be verbally tough on myself who had it so much easier? My brother probably resented the baby of the family who came when they were in their late teens and was treated in such a special way. This is all OK in the end. It is just life but I no longer need to apologise for existing or being who I am either.
What if people have always liked me and wanted to be my friend?
What if I was/am attractive to men after all?
What if leaving a legal career was the right choice all along?
What if I could change my career again? I am not sure I want to but what if I could? What opportunities might come my way?
What if I am not weak in my marriage but actually amazingly strong for sticking with it?
What if my slightly chaotic parenting is actually a really good way to ensure the children stay mentally well?
What if I am a far better home educator than I think I am?
What if I am on the cusp on a whole new and exciting chapter?
A new focus
I am also going to focus on important things in life as defined by myself rather than other people or some social media image of perfection. I started living that way today and I have a smile on my face so it is working.
Shaking things up
So as you can see I think I have some great ideas to shake things up in my life and to look at things more positively moving forward. I think looking back with my “What if?” questions might prove very therapeutic.
In fact, even having just written this post and not gone into any great depth on the questions, I already feel a sense of lightness and more balance.
I will get writing the posts on my key moments soon and feel quite excited by where that might lead in my new chapter.
What do you think?