Rollercoaster

You will wake in the night

You will pretend everything is fine

You are warm and cosy

The world can’t be crashing really

The pain hits

Solar plexus

No chance of sleep now

Wake up

Do the routines when don’t feel capable of doing so

Stress

Shouting

Pushing away

Coming together

Clinging to each other and hope

Panic

Relief

Fears

Hopes

Dashed

Need to make a plan

Not in a fit state to do so

Embarrassment

Envy

Guilt

Lashing out

Rollercoaster ride

And that all-encompassing feeling that you don’t deserve this

And exhaustion

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