You find me in an upbeat mode right now. Which is not to say life is perfect because it isn’t and some things are really upsetting but my heart is singing right now. What has brought this about? Well, I put the telly box on intending to watch my guilty pleasure of True Crime and Kylie was doing her set at Glastonbury. It would really would be a true crime to turn my back on this so I remembered songs from the past and how Kylie despite being a global superstar always seems humble and down-to-earth. She reminded us as I had just done in my book review coincidentally that we all face ups and downs in life and how we all matter as the individuals we are with our own stories to share. In fact, this seems to be quite a theme today with two women who are special to me sharing their own issues and life changes. So I got up and danced like nobody was watching waving those hips from side to side and swaying my arms like a good one. So right this minute seems like the perfect time to record some of the happy things from my week.
I woke up today to do my monthly weigh in and have shifted over half a stone this month. It was half a stone last month and I am on track for the vision I have of myself come Christmas. I cannot control everything in life but I can ensure I am making some healthy physical choices. I have dieted before but feel so different this time. I eat what I like when I like but make healthier choices because that makes sense and is good for me. I exercise every day with long forest walks and today I danced. I will be slim in around 3 months and positively sassily sexy by Christmas. I no longer hope that this will happen. I know it will and as a wise man once said you will see it when you believe it.
Do the Locomotion
My eldest son’s passport arrived so he is all set for his trip to live with my brother and start his adult life in a big way. He wants to change the world and help people. So despite post-natal depression, lack of domestic goddess ability and general mayhem, I must have done something good on the parenting front. He was as excited by the passport as he was when he got his first Thomas the Tank Engine. It really was a joy to behold. I am making the absolute most of my time with him now especially on our forest walks because soon he will not be here and that needs to happen and it will be OK.
Can’t get you out of my head (because this was my song of choice after my daughter was born)
My daughter delighted me this week by making amazing progress in coping with her social anxiety. She managed handshakes and cheek kisses and spoke a little to people which I know is not at all easy for her. This was at a music festival and I think the chocolate pancakes helped her feel good. Chocolate has super powers! She also laughed at herself a little when we joked about something she did which is not her usual way as she can be very sensitive. She is growing up and quite fast but in the most lovely way. She had an excuse to wear her designer dress (yeah for blogging freebies!) too and looked beautiful. It was also great to see another special girl who is just a little older looking amazing for her prom and he sister looking just as fab in casual clothes and supporting her sister all the way. Back to Kylie and girl power!
Je ne sais pourquoi
My younger son is his usual wise, charismatic and comic self. He gives me such sage counsel and has such belief in me when I struggle to do so. He reminds me of my late Dad in how he is ready to listen and give the time I need. My son is inspired by something about space he has seen on You Tube so that will feature in our home education sessions this week. Also we are doing so well particularly with French and maths. The great thing with home education is that you revisit stuff you know but also learn new things alongside your children. It’s a different way of learning and the road less travelled by but that does not mean it is wrong.
All the lovers
As for me, I ventured out all on my own on Tuesday. It was super scary ridiculously because of my own social anxiety. People spoke to me which should not have come as a surprise as I know them and they talk to me when I go out with my husband. That is how mad my thinking is sometimes. I talked about the book I was reading and may have joked a little about the subject matter as the book is called “Le Divorce”. I helped a man with his crossword and told him a secret or rather something I don’t often reveal here because I don’t want it to get in the way. A Cambridge University comes with its downsides sometimes as so many people have a set view of what it means if you went there. I was asked to sit with a group of people and feeling better had a good giggle as is the norm here. I even had my photograph taken as part of the community association (not that I had actually helped yet) and ended up in the local newspaper. That picture means the world as everyone on there is special to me in their own unique ways. Thank you whoever or whatever brought me to this place. As my husband could not pick me up after the “meeting” a woman and her boyfriend insisted I went back to their home where they served up lasagne from the pizza van. We celebrated two years in this place this week and those two years are stuffed with special memories and moments the like of which I could not have dreamed of not that long ago.
Step back in time
When I was dancing around to Kylie, I had the strongest memory of dancing to Julie Walters singing “I will survive” not long after I split up with my last long-term partner (well nearly 3 years felt like that at the time and we did live together). In that moment, I knew I would be OK and I was. This week I told one of my biggest supporters that I will be OK as I realised that I would. Then as if the Universe was sending yet another message, the telly box mentioned a place in Wales I visited with two female friends to visit another one again not long after that relationship breakdown. I found myself on a Welsh mountain saying my life was over, I would never find another man and all that nonsense us women will tell ourselves. Within about 3 months of that I had gone out with four blokes on dates of a sort and ended up marrying one of the blokes and having my 3 amazing children.
I am enough. I will be OK and I am counting the blessings I have in life. As for the future, I should be so lucky.