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Staying safe when BDSM dating

All dating involves taking risks but this is particularly the case when you enter the world of dominant and submissive dating. It is certainly an exciting world but don’t get so carried away that you risk your personal safety. I am sharing some basic tips that should ensure you have fun but don’t get hurt or scammed along the way.

Checking someone out before meeting

If you get involved in dominant and submissive communities, you find your tribe but also have access to people who can guide you. If you mention someone and you get a bad reaction, use those clues as to who you should meet. If you get a bad feeling in your gut when chatting online or a niggling voice in your head, it is good to give that your attention.

Having a strong support network

Friends and family matter and especially so when you are getting involved with femdom dating sites. It is vital that someone knows where you are if you are entering the BDSM dating world. Give specific information such as where you are meeting, when they should expect to hear from you, how to contact you and what time they should start worrying that you are not OK. Ideally, your friend will phone you mid-date as a powerful message to your date that someone has your back.

Whilst some risk is OK and part of life, the fact remains that there are some evil folk out there so stay safe. Having back up with that helps loads. Tell your date that you have told someone where you are and what you are doing. That should scare off any predators or scammers. Taking a photo of the person you meet and their car number plate are other things to consider doing. Better safe than sorry.

Meeting in a public place

I hope it goes without saying that you should never invite a stranger to your home or go to their place. Don’t get carried away no matter how lovely or exciting your chats are on online.Even if you feel you click immediately on meeting, do stay in public areas like a coffee shop or bar. If something does go wrong it is good to be surrounded by potential protectors and witnesses. Have a ready made excuse to leave such as a prior engagement just in case things go wrong. That way nobody gets too hurt in the process.

Playing safely

Do consider getting a hotel for your first sexual encounter as there will be people around should you need them. It’s a better option that going to their place or yours. Don’t rush into BDSM play until you are both happy and giving appropriate consent. Do all you can to build up trust between you leaving the more extreme forms of play until a later date.

Excellent communication is central to any BDSM relationship. Starting this early in the date will set you up for great times ahead. Start to discuss and agree on a safe word really early. If someone seems dismissive about the need for this, you can probably assume that  it is best to get out of that date.

How do you stay safe when dating?

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Award-winning writer, blogger, social media consultant and charity campaigner. Social Media Manager for BritMums, the UK's largest parent blogging network Freelance clients include Firefly Communications and Save the Children UK. Works with brands on marketing projects. Examples include Visit Orlando, Give As You Live, Coca-Cola and Kodak. Cambridge Law graduate with many years experience working across three sectors in advice, media relations, events, training and project management. Available for hire at affordable rates.

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