I am taking part in the Blogtober Challenge hoping to rediscover my joy in blogging. As I feel unhappy in other areas of my life I am taking charge and planning for happiness. Life is too short as they say and with A Good Plan gifted by my friend, I am working out what has, does and will make me happy.
A lot of my fun times in life were had with my parents who have now passed away. They were so good at keeping things interesting and having fun. Even after I left home, when they visited they tumbled in usually laughing and full of stories. Mum would almost immediately send Dad back to the car as the boot would be full of various gifts for myself and the children. I miss them both very much. It is one of those things that cannot be put right of course.
I have not seen my brother for years and my other brother died 2 years ago.
Of course I love my children but my oldest now lives with my brother overseas. I have to be the provider of fun and interest nowadays. Maybe I am just not as good at it as my parents were. Or perhaps I just don’t have enough support to do my best. That is not going to change realistically so perhaps I should be twice the parent.
I guess I could go and see my brother and son. Travelling might give me a little perspective on my current situation. I like getting together with my brother as it connects me again to my parents if that makes sense.
Some of my happiest times were spent with friends at school and at college. I don’t know why or what I did wrong (please tell me!) but I don’t see them now whilst retaining all those affectionate feelings for them with nowhere to put them. I have online friends and wish they all lived in same street. The truth is that I am lonely. I have friends where I am or people I can laugh with any way. I could build on that but then I get all fearful that I am being laughed at rather than with. Recently a woman has asked to meet me after just seeing her once. We appear to share similar interests so this could be potential for a bit of happiness.
Things I love to do
These include going to historical places, theatre trips, the cinema and charity shopping. Since getting with my now husband over 20 years ago, I have visited the theatre twice I think. My husband has no interest in either the theatre or the cinema. Stupidly as I thought couples were meant to do stuff together, I have put my stuff on hold for far too long going without so many pleasures. I should do stuff with my children not expecting my husband to come along to join in. I can do that!
I want to the freedom to pursue a career or a job again. I don’t know how to carry that off when I am needed here for home education but I am going to find a way. There I said it! I also want to do my own thing. Why can’t I have a duvet on the sofa if I want one? Why can’t I play loud music? Why can’t I giggle with a bloke without being told I am “encouraging” him whatever that means? Why can’t I be silly if I feel like it?
Planning for happiness
I resolve now to do all the things on my liberty list above. I will see this new woman and stop being insecure about the people who have welcomed me so warmly in this place. I will go and see my brother and son. I will find people who are willing to have a meaningful conversation with me. I love to talk and to listen to interesting people and most are if you give them a chance to share their story. Here’s to loads of reading, writing, baking and walking. Here’s to being me because whatever certain people think I am enough as my lovely friend keeps reminding me.
Do you have any tips on planning for happiness?