Abusive relationships, whether they last a few months or a few years, can have a detrimental effect on the rest of a person’s life. And whilst you may never forget what happened, there are ways you can find strength and courage to move on and make the best of your life.

One way you can do this is claiming compensation from the CICA scheme, which allows victims of abuse to gain some independence and use this money to set up a new life, take a holiday, find a new home or even just treat yourself. It can be a difficult process but CICA UK can make the claim on your behalf to take away some of the stress.

Whilst you might move on physically it can take a long time to do this mentally, especially when it comes to trusting someone new. When it comes to these hard times it’s important to take some time for yourself, a little bit of simple self care can make the world of difference.

This simple care tips can help you to relax and refocus so you’re not focusing on the past.

Take a day for yourself

Sometimes taking a day off from work, or switching your phone off on the weekend and staying in bed could be all you need. There’s no problem in taking time for yourself, whether it’s to catch up on some good Netflix shows or just taking the time to read a book.

See friends or family

It can be easy to think that being alone is the best option when you’re feeling down or anxious, but sometimes isolation isn’t the best option. Seeing your friends and family is a great way of reinforcing the fact that you’re not alone. You don’t even have to leave the house, a simple phone call or nipping round for a cup of tea could be all you need to lift your spirits.

Get outside

Talking a long walk outside can help to clear the mind and give you a fresh perspective on life. If you’re looking for a reason to get outside more, may be a dog could be what you need, a couple of walks outside a day with a pooch could be what you need to help boost your mood.

Take a trip

Is there a place on your bucket list you’ve always wanted to visit? Then take a trip. This can be alone or with friends or family if you prefer. Giving yourself this independence to visit a new place can do wonders for your confidence and make you feel like your own person again.

Give yourself a pamper

Don’t underestimate the power of a long bath, a face mask and some new pyjamas and what it can do for your mood. Just taking a little time for yourself, such as painting your nails can be really therapeutic and relaxing.
If you’re feeling really indulgent you could even take a trip to a spa for a real pamper.

Simple Self-Care Tips That Help You Move On After Abuse



3 Little Buttons

div align=”center”>Musings Of A Tired Mummy

How to be content is something that can take a life time to work out. This seems such a shame. As we get older we realise that life is all too short and we would be wise to make the most of it. I am actively seeking happiness rather than just expecting it to happen these days. I was delighted to get a copy of “How to be Content” to review.

Beautiful book

The first thing that struck me about the book is that it is so attractive with a green hardback and a purple heart cut-out. It just puts you in a good mood as soon as you look at it and I think it would make a lovely gift for any occasion. There are stunning illustrations  throughout the book by Joanne Parry. I cannot get over to you what joy these give.

How to be content

The  book is by Dr. Arlene K. Unger and you can see the amount of research  that has gone into it. It is easy to read whilst covering some very deep topics.  There are four sections to the book covering the Natural World, Cultures Around the World, Mythology and Folklore and Philosophers, Writers and Poets. Each of these is broken down into sub-sections of around 2 pages each so it is really easy to dip in and out of. Having said that I kept it by my side and read it all in a few days. It has a magical quality to it that means you make time for it perhaps because you are seeking contentment, perhaps because it contains great wisdom or perhaps because it is so good to look at.

What next?

Now that I have read the book, I immediately want to go back and really focus on one topic at a time drawing the learning from it. I like to think this book acts as a bit of a launch pad into further investigation, reflection and self-care practice.

Practical action

The book gives so much inspiration but also gives practical and simple steps for you to improve your happiness perhaps by meditating, doing good deeds for others, singing or paring back on your needs. It is a small book really of just 175 pages and yet I can already see how life-changing this book can be.

Author and Illustrator

Dr. Arlene Unger is a California-based clinical psychologist and wellness coach, with thirty years of experience in the field. In her busy practice, The Empowerment Centre, she emphasises the need to find life balance – and to let go of the judgment and self-criticism that can hold us back. She blends clinical expertise with her intuition and imagination, treating people face-to-face but also specialising in online coaching and counselling. She uses a wide range of therapeutic tools, including Mindfulness, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and Emotional Brain Training.

Jo Parry is a professional illustrator and artist. She describes her artwork as “fun, bold, colour-inspired and unpretentious” and usually works in soft pastels. Her hobbies outside the artistic field include photography, travel, sport and cooking.




How To Be Content

Cuddle Fairy

Thankfully, mental health awareness is on the increase due to efforts to de-stigmatise mental health. It is therefore important now to offer advice to those who feel like they are struggling with their mind and wellbeing. Whether you are going through a difficult phase in an ongoing struggle with your mental health or you have been experiencing the occasional down day… some of these ideas may help.

Mental Health Awareness

Physical activities

It is a known fact that being physically active is great for your body. There are proven and noticeable benefits like weight loss and increased fitness level. However, it is less of a known and advertised fact that being active is also really great for your mental health and wellbeing. When you think of physical activity, you may get an image in your head of a sweaty, stuffy and busy gym, but it doesn’t have to be. Go for a quick walk or bike ride, attend a class like yoga or join a running club… There are so many opportunities available for you to try and figure out the type of physical activity that you enjoy the most. The endorphins released when being active help increase alertness, energy and mood. So if you’re having a down day or feel groggy, why not just get yourself outside and go for a quick brisk walk down the road? Physical exercise is one of those things that although you might dread it, it is impossible to regret afterwards.


Another idea for an activity which may help with your mental wellbeing and state of mind is travel. This doesn’t have to be booking a flight to a country on the other side of the world, you just could go on a road trip to a new place in Britain. Seeing new sights and having new surroundings for a while could be a great way to improve your mood and distract yourself from any niggling negative thoughts. SLV GLobal offer worldwide mental health internships opportunities for students and graduates wanting to gain experience working in the mental health sector. The work experience they offer is original and great for spreading mental health awareness as they allow students/graduates to travel abroad to countries like Sri Lanka, Bali and India.

Leisure activities

Another tip for making yourself feel better mentally, whether you have struggled with mental health long-term or are just having a bad day, is to make time for your personal hobbies. It is a great feeling when you find an activity that you thoroughly enjoy, so an easy way to make yourself smile is to invest time in doing these things. Whether your favourite leisure activity is gardening, window-shopping or something more adventurous like rock-climbing… Make the time. Part of improving mental health awareness is acknowledging the fact that people do need time away from work to focus on their personal well being.

 Meditation and less screen time

Mental Health Awareness

Recently, alongside a rise in mental health awareness campaigns, there has been an emphasis placed on meditation. There are now even a range of apps that you can download on your phone which give meditation tips and instructions so there is really no excuse to give it a miss. The basic gist is to find a quiet room to sit and focus completely on your own thoughts and nothing else. This mental health tip seems to go hand-in-hand with the notion of having too much screen time. Scrolling through your phone without even thinking at pointless rubbish could be replaced with meditation, reading a book or writing a daily journal.

 Sleep and eat

You might think that this goes without saying, but the benefits of getting a good night’s sleep can’t be underestimated. It’s a good idea to figure out the number of hours sleep that works best for you and get your body clock into a good routine. There’s nothing worse than waking up and having to start the day but feeling like you could sleep for another twelve hours. On the other hand, part of mental health awareness is understanding that sleeping too much and not getting outside enough can have an adverse effect on your wellbeing.

A final point but one that is still very important of these activities for your mental health, is eating. There is more and more research being done into how the health of your gut can affect your mental state. So be aware of the types and amount of food that you are consuming. You don’t have to go all out and become vegan, although if you do then congrats, but every little healthy decision you make with food makes a difference.

If you are someone who has just graduated and wants to be involved in helping to promote mental health awareness, why not gain some work experience in the field? Visit SLV Global at https://slv.global/ to see the opportunities that are available to experience a new culture and work at the same time.

Mental Health Awareness

My Random Musings

How are you sleeping? Is your bedroom your sanctuary? Perhaps like me you do not sleep as well as you could? I want to introduce you to something that has helped improve my comfort and my night’s sleep. I am delighted to share my review of the Reflex Pillow with you.

The Reflex Pillow

All too often I don’t buy pillows often enough or I compromise to save money. This results in pillows that  are no comfy and don’t last for long. I am learning that it is important to invest in myself as well as my husband and children. I am also working out that good sleep really is vital for our health and wellbeing.

The Reflex Pillow is something that lives up to its claims in my experience. It is just right as it is firm but also moulds to your head so it feels soft and squishy but also supportive. That’s exactly the right  balance.

Reflex Pillow

The story of the Reflex Pillow

A Cork inventor and back specialist achieved phenomenal success in 2016 on crowdfunding with The Reflex Pillow which currently sits in the top 10 most successfully funded Irish Kickstarter campaigns, having raised over €80,000 from backers.

Less than two years later, Reflex Pillow introduces a brand new pillow to its range doubling its target on Kickstarter this time round. The Perfection Pillow is now available online together with a range of accessories.

With over thirty years experience as a specialist in the treatment of neck and back pain, Noel O’Connor noticed a pattern in his patients finding that the pillow used was the biggest culprit in neck conditions. Having treated more than 30,000 patients during his career, Noel then spent fifteen years conducting various pressure sensitivity tests on feather, memory foam, and polyester-stuffed pillows before creating the ‘magic’ formulated blend of materials for the optimal pillow which would come to be known as ‘Reflex Foam’.

Reflex Pillow

How the Reflex Pillow works

With a head dip that is designed to keep the spine aligned and a dedicated shoulder slot, the pillow ensures the optimal positioning for your head, neck and shoulders. By supporting the upper body, neck and shoulder muscles are spared any stress and strain as you sleep which improves blood circulation and redistributes your body weight to help prevent stiffness. The stability of the head dip,ensures that you’re less likely to toss and turn during the night, whether lying on your back or sides.By ensuring the optimum positioning for your head, neck and back the Reflex Pillow can also reduce or eradicate snoring and sleep apnoea by improving the uptake of oxygen while sleeping.

“Inappropriate pillows do not support the anatomy of the human body so it’s not surprising that sleep science has turned to pillows as a major focus” says Noel O’Connor “While your mattress may support your lower spine, the soft tissue of your upper spine and neck requires even more support. ”

Reflex Pillow

The Perfection Pillow

Fifteen months after the introduction of the original Reflex Pillow, Noel launched Perfection Pillow on Kickstarter which doubled its backing target. Perfection has an enhanced the formulation to further reduce stress on the upper neck while sleeping by allowing the position of the head tro be held in extension for the duration on contact. The new Perfection Pillow has all the benefits of the original, complemented by improved cushioning and support. The pillow is patented and medically certified and protected with a luxurious zippered pillowcase. Also in the range are silk pillowcases and a handy travel bag into which the pillow can be rolled and taken away if required.

So if you want to indulge in some good sleep and self-care, I highly recommend the Reflex Pillow because it is working for me and my husband reports teeth grinding is not as bad as it was either so all good for marital harmony too.

The Reflex Pillow - A Review




div align=”center”>Family Fever

How alcohol affects your bowels and bladder may not be uppermost in your mind when you are on a boozy night out. I was brought up in a family of drinkers. Much of my social life from teen years until the present day has involved a tipple or two. As I reach a milestone birthday, I am questioning the way I live my life and one thing I am reflecting on is my consumption of alcohol. I was interested to read some recent findings on how alcohol affects your bowels and bladder.

What we already know

I think most of us these days are aware that drinking alcohol can have an adverse impact on our liver function an heart health. My own father died of liver disease and was whilst not a huge drinker a regular one. I have struggled with my mental health over the years as I believe most of us do. There is no doubt that whilst alcohol is fun in the short-term it is a depressant by nature. Most of us would probably be better off facing our demons rather than self-medicating them away for a little while.

Bladder function

What colour is your pee? Did you know it should be clear? Alcohol can often mean dark yellow or even brown pee. Alcohol dehydrates you so please do ensure you restrict the levels you take in and also drink the suggested levels of water to combat the ill effects of boozing.

If you have ever had a urinary tract infection, you know how thoroughly miserable they can be. As well as that feeling of constantly needing to pee, you have the burning sensation when you do. My last UTI was awful and laid me low for about a week or so.  Headaches, pain and fever can all come with cystitis meaning you don’t want to have sex, socialise or do anything much except lie under a duvet somewhere need a loo feeling sorry for yourself.

Finally, incontinence can be brought on by booze whether that is leakage or wetting the bed.

Bowel function

Most of us will have had constipation or diarrhoea at some stage of our lives perhaps due to another illness. I am hear to tell you abuse of alcohol can only make these worse. If you want to know the details of what is happening to your body parts when you drink,  what the worst drinks might be for you and why you are worse off if you have not eaten before drinking, visit Hartmann Direct for a detailed guide.

Get real

Perhaps a lot of us need to stop putting our heads in the sands about the dangers of drinking alcohol. Too many parents talk of wine time. Booze is glorified regularly on daytime television whilst it also hosts interviews with people who have suffered the impact of alcohol perhaps losing a child in a crash where a drink driver was the cause or by getting bowel cancer. I am by no means perfect but I hope like me you will look at your own alcohol consumption and ask yourself whether your lifestyle choices are serving you and your wellbeing..

How Alcohol Affects Your Bowels and Bladder


My Random Musings