Home education guilt – a mum’s tale

Home education guilt is something that haunts me on days like today. I got up in a great mood but there was loads of housework to be done after a busy weekend. So as the children were happily doing their own thing including gaming and art, I prioritised cleaning and tidying the house.

Home Education Guilt

We had a leak at the weekend too so there was the mess from that to contend with too. My good mood remained and I felt I was on a roll and would do some positive home education come the afternoon.

Then our landlord announced he wants to do a house inspection this weekend. I hate the idea as although I do housework every single day, dogs and children add to mess daily too. So I started to feel anxious as I hate feeling judged and of course can do that quite effectively against myself at the best of times. By the time I had calmed down there was work to be done.

The day slipped away hour by hour with the children largely left to their own devices. Pressure builds up and I start feeling I am not doing well enough by the children.

Thank goodness for the amazing Ross Mountney and her books. I have resolved to keep reading them every day as a bit of a touchstone that I an not going mad. Indeed, in “A Home Education Notebook” the introduction is all about losing the plot. Just like with so many parenting challenges, blogging it out can help I find and I intend to do far more of this.

The problem is that I compare myself to others both home educators and people who have children in state and private schools. However, perhaps some people out there compare themselves to me – you never know! I do have some of my own ideas such as sending my children out into the world with some really great values. I learn from others. I try different things from time to time. Perhaps I am not totally useless but on days like today I am filled with home education guilt.

I need to remind myself that my daughter was threatening serious self-harm when in school. Now she is sitting happily working on art designs. She is not stressed remotely.

It’s also important to note that I care more as a mum than any teacher ever could about my children. That makes wobbly days hard to face particularly when there are other troubles at play.

When did I ever really question the teachers in school as to just how much learning my children had done each day? If I trusted them, why can’t I trust myself.

Who am I kidding? If you make a brave choice and leap off into the unknown, it is going to feel scary. I just have to keep the faith and know that home education is working and has worked for so many people. Who’s to say our journey won’t be a successful one whatever that means anyway? Time will tell.

Do you experience home education guilt?

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15 Comments

  1. Aleeha June 4, 2018 / 5:24 pm

    If your daughter was threatening self-harm, then by home-schooling her you’ve potentially saved her life! So even if you do sometimes feel guilty, just remember how much you’ve helped her!
    Aleeha xXx
    https://www.halesaaw.co.uk/

  2. mummy here and there June 4, 2018 / 6:06 pm

    Hats off to you, I could never home study because I just don’t have the skills or energy tbh. Sometimes life throws stuff at us but as long she is learning then that is the main thing X #mmbc

  3. Louisa June 4, 2018 / 8:12 pm

    I admire those who home educate their children. I considered it for my eldest for a time but never felt that I was quite up to the task. It must be a steep learning curve for you all but I am sure that the rewards will be worth it for you all #mmbc

  4. Heather Buttivant June 4, 2018 / 10:03 pm

    A great post. I think it’s normal to wobble sometimes and I don’t know any home educators who don’t worry that they’re not doing enough sometimes [often!]. It just means that we care and take the responsibility seriously. There will always be some days when we feel under the weather, or there are loads of jobs to do, or nothing seems to happen, or everyone around us seems to be doing better… and yet, sometimes it’s those days when the kids aren’t going anywhere or doing anything obvious that they learn the most. Having the time and space to do art designs is wonderful. Sounds like you’re doing a fabulous job.

  5. The Autism Dada June 5, 2018 / 1:45 pm

    I think we all judge our self harshly, especially when we judge ourselves with others.

    I think you just need to take a look at how much more settles your daughter is to know your doing good and try to put doubts away

  6. Debbie June 6, 2018 / 3:22 am

    Hi Kate, I take my hat off to anyone who home educates! And as with anything in life ( and I do mean anything) ‘wobbles’ happen and life does get in the way. You’re right we rarely question teachers on their teaching ability or whether life affects their teaching method and I’m sure sometimes it does, after all, they are only human too. Just keep looking at your daughter and know you are doing the right thing by her.

    xx

  7. Nicole - Tales from Mamaville June 6, 2018 / 11:23 pm

    The very fact that you took this brave decision for the sake of your daughter, says a LOT about you Kate. At the end of the day, good education is so much more than just high scores – it’s about values and experiences and setting good examples, all of which you are giving your children. I have great respect for those parents who home-educate – I have far too little patience for that. You’re doing great:)
    Thanks so much for sharing your experience with us at #itsok

  8. Su {Ethan & Evelyn} June 7, 2018 / 9:14 am

    I’m so sorry to here this. I think you are being too hard on yourself. Just look at your daughter she is much happier now in the moment with you. Do what you think is best for our daughter. I think you should give yourself a pat on the back from time to time. Believe me if I was in your position I’d be a headless chicken cleaning up the house. lol! Take care lovely Kate. xx

    Thank you very much for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost

  9. Claire June 7, 2018 / 11:18 am

    Oh wow, you are doing a great job at homeschooling Kate. Just remember we all have good and bad days and you took your Daughter out of school to keep her safe. Some days just happen to be like this one and lots to do.

    I think anyone who homeschools is amazing. I am so bad at keeping up with things and getting into a routine, that I wouldn’t be able to do.

    Thanks for linking up to The Wednesday Blog Hop. Hope you can join me tomorrow 🙂

  10. Jaki June 10, 2018 / 5:33 pm

    Like I said in your last post, I admire anyone who home educates! You are doing amazingly! Thanks for sharing with #TriumphantTales, we’d love to see you back again on Tuesday!

  11. Musings of a tired mummy...zzz... June 11, 2018 / 12:41 pm

    Independent learning is a great skill for all children to develop so don’t feel guilty for leaving them to their own devices sometime! #dreamteam

  12. Helena June 11, 2018 / 4:39 pm

    Comparison is the thief of joy (Theodore Roosevelt). Every family is different concentrate on what brings you and your own family joy and focus on that. Sure be inspired by others but understand that each of us are different. #itsok

  13. This Scribbler Mum June 18, 2018 / 7:23 pm

    I am not doing homeschool at the moment but I kind of understand what you mean. I am no expert but for me success is there if there is happiness which your daughter is. #bigpinklink

  14. Valerie @ThreeClementines June 20, 2018 / 3:13 pm

    So sorry your daughter was going through something so tough, but great for you for doing home education. I’ve always thought it would be so great to do but at the same time kind of scary!

  15. Kirsty June 24, 2018 / 10:30 am

    I admire anyone who can take on homeschooling. I know I don’t have the patience for it. It sounds like you made the right decision to try it in the first place and it remains the right decision. I have no doubt it is easier said than done but you should definitely trust yourself more.
    Thank you for joining #BigPinkLink

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