Dating for the more mature person can be a daunting process. You may feel you have missed the love boat having not yet found the one that fairy tales promise. You may have experienced relationship breakdown or divorce. You may still be grieving for the loss of a partner.

The good news is that it is never too late to find love and companionship again. For months now I have seen an older man come into my local pub. He has friends but always appears to not join in with the banter and I sensed he was lonely. Last weekend it was lovely to see him arrive clearly very loved-up with a new woman. They were delighting in each the company and I was very pleased for them.

So what would I say are top tips for someone wanting to try out mature singles dating to inject a little sunshine into their life.

Have confidence in yourself

As an older person you will have many stories and life experiences to share. You will have special qualities and impressive skills. You will have a rich personality so you should absolutely know that you are worthy of love and approach dating with as much confidence as you can muster. If you are giving off the idea that you are no good the chances of you finding a partner are that much more limited. Love yourself and then tell your admirers to form an orderly queue.

Risk rejection

It is scary to put yourself out there but you really should feel the fear and do it anyway. You may be rejected but don’t risk not finding out if that person you adored did not feel exactly the same way. Most people are flattered if someone likes them and  older people are that much kinder at letting people down gently in my experience. As I heard someone say recently, it is far better to risk the immediate pain of rejection which may not happen anyway than to spend years wondering about what might have been. Regret is way more painful in the longer-term than rejection.

Enjoy flirting again

Flirting is such a fun thing to do and makes you feel young and alive. When you flirt, you boost the ego of the person you are flirting  with. If it leads to romance and love so much the better but if it doesn’t at least you will have had a little fun along the way. You can flirt online and then work up to a flirtatious date. Make eye contact, play with your hair and indulge in some banter and see where it leads!

Be clear about what you are looking for

As we get older we realise love is found  in the most unlikely places and with the most unlikely people. We are hopefully far clearer about the type of person who fits with what we are looking for. Some people will be looking for a fine old-fashioned romance hoping that at some point a marriage will follow. Others are dating cougars who prefer the appeal of younger men. There are specialist dating sites including for those older women looking for a younger date.So long as everyone is open and honest, relationships work better. It’s OK to say what you are looking for and to communicate that clearly.

Get online dating

Too may older people think online dating is only for the very young. This is a total misconception. Apparently the biggest growth segment age wise for online daters is for people over 40 and  50. Online dating is great because you can search for exactly the type of person you are looking for. It is also a safe way of making initial contact and doing some investigation before you meet in the real world.

Dating when you are over 40 years of age has so many benefits. You are clearer on who you are and what you like to spend your time doing. You know what you will and perhaps more vitally what you won’t accept in a date. You will have probably have had a number of relationships and learned a lot from them. You will have probably worked out that nobody is perfect and be a little more forgiving of yourself and others. You are likely to have a bit more disposable income so you can invest in some really fun times with your date. You will have the confidence to know that although it is lovely to have a love interest you can manage without one whilst you find one that suits your needs.

Go forth and enjoy dating!

 

 

If you know a boy aged 10 to 21, then there’s a good chance you’ve witnessed them sink whole days into playing video games. You might even have accused them of being “addicted” to video games. As it turns out, you might have been right. Under new guidelines established by the World Health Organisation, “gaming disorder” will be recognised as a medical condition for the first time.

Gaming

What is gaming addiction?

Gaming addiction will be listed as “gaming disorder” in the 11th edition of the World Health Organisation’s International Classification of Diseases (ICD). In the ICD, gaming disorder is described as a “severe pattern” of gaming behaviour in which the participant’s gaming “takes precedence over other life interests”.

The entry demonstrates that the WHO understands the potential harm of uncontrolled video game use. It’s a recognition that people can experience video game addiction in the same way that they can experience gambling addiction or addiction to other kinds of harmful behaviours.

There are often real-world consequences to gaming addiction. Patients with gaming disorder often want to cut down on their gaming, but can’t. They often fail to fulfil social obligations and miss activities or events organised by friends. Sometimes there are serious consequences, such as when doctor’s appointments or professional appointments are missed due to gaming.

What are the signs of video game addiction?

Under the WHO guidelines, doctors will need to see evidence of at least 12 months of abnormal gaming behaviour to make a diagnosis. In extreme circumstances, a diagnosis can be made in a shorter period of time if the gaming is more intense.

The symptoms of gaming disorder are as follows:

  • Impaired control over gaming (frequency, intensity and duration)
  • Increased priority being given to gaming
  • Continuation or escalation of gaming, despite negative consequences

If you’re worried that a loved one might be affected by gaming disorder, there are signs to watch out for. Are they tired as a result of staying up late and playing video games? Are they withdrawing from their social circle and real-world responsibilities in favour of video games? Do they talk or think about video games even when they are supposed to be doing something else?

It’s important to be rational when looking for warning signs. Many teenagers (and adults) will stay up all night playing video games with their friends and spend the whole of the next day talking about it. It’s not gaming disorder if this happens rarely or happens in a controlled way. Distinguishing between a normal enjoyment of video games and a disorder is crucial.

When do video games become harmful?

The physical warning signs of gaming disorder are the signs associated with excessive computer use. These are as follows:

  • Backache
  • Headaches
  • Weight gain or loss
  • Disturbances in sleep
  • Carpal tunnel syndrome
  • Blurred or strained vision

There are also consequences to the gamer’s mental health. Excessive gaming has been linked to depression and anxiety. Excessive gaming can also cause insomnia and people who spend a lot of time in front of screens can find it difficult to interact with people face-to-face.

 

Think you might have gaming disorder? It can be treated

The framework for treating gaming disorder is similar to the treatment for other addictive behaviours, such as gambling. Treatment will involve therapy of some kind. The therapy can take place at an outpatient centre, but in extreme cases, the patient might prefer intensive treatment in an inpatient centre.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is an approach to treating addictive behaviours which has been recognised by the NHS. Through CBT, a patient and a counsellor will examine the patient’s thought processes and identify triggers for negative or addictive behaviours. Together, negative thought processes will be challenged and replaced with healthy ones.

Alongside one-to-one sessions, the patient will also often be invited to group sessions. If gaming disorder has damaged familial or marital relations, then patients might benefit from exploring family therapy and couples therapy. The patient could also attend group therapy sessions in a supportive environment.

Author Bio: Obi Unaka is the Treatment Director at Charterhouse Clinic. He has 16 years of experience in a clinical setting. Obi has developed successful addiction treatment services in a variety of settings.

3 Little Buttons

Research from NASA and the American College has revealed the houseplants which are best suited to be placed in the bedroom. In this article, we detail some of these plants and the benefits they can bring to your home:

The real purpose of houseplants

Before we delve into the research from NASA and the American College, let’s first understand why you should consider improving your bedrooms — and indeed the rest of your home — with some houseplants.

In conversation with the Telegraph, gold-medal winner at the Chelsea RHS Show, Ian Drummond says that there’s a key purpose to having houseplants. He explains: “Many people now live in cities with no outside space. We all have this longing to have some green around us, and houseplants are the perfect solution.”

If you’re looking to create a better living space, houseplants can improve the atmosphere in your home at very little cost. Studies have shown that houseplants have been found to help with concentration, promote better sleep and reduce anxiety among people who live around them on a day-to-day basis too. The Plantsman, when reporting on a 2016 piece which was published in the RHS’s journal, underlined: “As placing indoor plants in rooms is one of the simplest changes that can be made to enhance the environment, it stands out as a practical and affordable support for health.”

The diverse range of plants for your home

But what plants are the best for your home? We take a look at research carried out by NASA and the American College to find out more:

The Exhilarating Chinese Evergreen

If you’re looking for a quick and simple solution, the Chinese Evergreen is one of the easiest plants to maintain. This is because the plant can grow even in areas of low light — no need to worry about placing it in a dark bedroom then.

The great thing about the Chinese Evergreen plant is that it can remove any toxins from the room.

If you do decide on buying a Chinese Evergreen plant, there are some pieces of information that you should know about. As well as keeping it away from bright sunlight (which can actually scorch its leaves), the plant should be watered regularly with cool water and fed with plant food once every three to four weeks.

The Attractive Aloe Vera

This is one of the most popular plants around the world and is commonly used for medicinal reasons. This is because the clear and cool gel of an Aloe Vera leaf can be applied to burns, cuts, rashes and areas of sunburn to provide instant relief and speed up the healing process.

NASA have commented saying that Aloe Vera plants are the best for purifying the air. This is because they release oxygen on a regular basis during the night, not to mention fighting against both benzene — an ingredient of detergents — and formaldehyde — found in varnishes — to ensure a room’s air remains pure.

What makes Aloe Vera a great plant for the home is that its advised that they’re kept inside, however they must be prone to an suitable amount of sunlight to survive. Furthermore, plant them in a spacious pot that contains soil which has been well drained beforehand.

The Extravagant Areca Palm

There’s a lot of names that are connected with the Areca Palm. This ranges from Chrysalidocarpus Lutescens, Dypsis Lutescens, the Bamboo Palm, the Golden Cane Palm and the Yellow Butterfly Palm.

It’s also known as one of the top 10 air purifiers. What’s more, the plant has been said to be great for those who often have colds or sinus problems due to it regularly releasing moisture into the air.

Aesthetically, the Areca Palm plant will add a touch of tropical climes to your bedroom thanks to its long and graceful feather-shaped fronds. When placing Areca Palm plants around your bedroom, look for an area that subjects the plant to bright but indirect light — you’ll know if it is being exposed to direct sunlight as the leaves will begin to turn a yellowish-green hue.

The Beautiful Boston Fern

If you love a ruffed plant with lots of character, the beautiful Boston Fern is your ideal choice — and its drooping fronds make for a perfect addition to any room.

It is also ranked in ninth place on NASA’s list of the best air-purifying plants. A key reason for this is that the plant is very adept at removing formaldehyde from rooms. When it comes to placing Boston Fern around your bedroom, take note that the plant is sensitive to chemicals. Smoke which come from coal fires and wood burners can also be toxic to the plant, which means that they should be placed away from any spaces susceptible to draughts.

Your Boston Fern will look better on a high surface — think shelves or the top of your wardrobe, as this will allow the plant to fall naturally down the side of the pot.

This article was researched by DM Design, a specialist designer of bedroom furniture in Glasgow.

Sources:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5009063/The-plants-NASA-says-NEED-bedroom.html

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/gardening/how-to-grow/houseplants-every-home-better-multi-tasking-pollution-busters/

https://www.gardeningknowhow.com/houseplants/aloe-vera/aloe-vera-plant-care.htm

https://www.gardeningknowhow.com/houseplants/areca-palm/growing-areca-palm-indoors.htm

http://homeguides.sfgate.com/special-care-areca-indoor-palm-trees-43127.html

https://www.ourhouseplants.com/plants/boston-fern

https://www.flowercouncil.co.uk/campaign/october-2016-chinese-evergreen-is-houseplant-of-the-month

 

My Random Musings

Money is tight for so many individuals and families at the moment. Every season brings its own expenditure items and many of us are thinking about our Summer holiday right now.

holiday

My dad was a very wise man. One of his key bits of life advice was that you should always take a summer holiday no matter how much money you have in the bank. He knew that holidays turn into memories that can sustain us in the most challenging of times. Now I am older, I will share my advice which is life for all of us is a series of ups and downs so we need everything to get us through the harder periods. Holidays help a lot not just at the time but in the coming weeks, months and years.

Here are my top tips for saving money whilst still ensuring a happy Summer holiday.

Travel

Consider different ways of getting to your destination. Which is the most-effective? Why just go ahead and use your usual mode of transport without checking fuel prices, fares and even things like car sharing schemes? Are you happy to go for no frills flights or rail journeys to save money? Can you book well in advance which often means cheaper tickets? Is it worth considering an indirect flight? Be travel savvy!

Accommodation

You can make magical memories anywhere so don’t rule out things like a camping or caravan break. Youth hostels are also an option which too many people think is only for the young. If you are looking for hotel accommodation, check out some striking deals.

Food and drink

It is all too easy to over-spend on food and drink on holidays. Research can help particularly if you are going overseas. Find out whether you will be better off self-catering some or all of the time. Eating out in Europe and other destinations can be much cheaper than in the UK in my experience. Rather than worry about it all on holiday, get food and drink savvy before you go. Also remember that you can make great memories with a simple picnic.

Negotiate and shop around

There are some great money savers out there who negotiate on every transaction. Sometimes companies even expect this so it is worth a try particularly if you are booking late as many travel and accommodation providers will offer reduced prices rather than make no money at all.

Shop around because you might find that really can save you a lot of money. Falling for the first clever marketing offer is not the way to go when planning a holiday. Look at the slick words and images and then shop around to see if you can get something the same or markedly similar for a cheaper price elsewhere.

Prepare for emergencies

We all hope we won’t encounter an emergency on holiday. Make sure you have appropriate insurances in place just in case. Have some contingency money set aside. Ensure you know the basic driving and other relevant laws in the country you are visiting to avoid costly fines.

My Dad always used to research our holidays in detail and as I have got older, I realise that is because he was money savvy. He would always choose a hotel one street back from the beach rather than pay a premium for a sea view knowing we could walk to see the sea easily enough. It really is about checking every item of expenditure (including cash point withdrawals and mobile phone costs) in advance and working out how to cut costs.

Happy holidays and please do leave a comment with your top money-saving tips when it comes to Summer holidays.

 

 

ethannevelyn.com
My Random Musings
3 Little Buttons

Bad habits. We all have them. Whether that’s watching too much tv, eating unhealthy food, smoking cigarettes, or spending too much money. We get into a cycle that is hard to break, but break it we must. Our lives will suffer if we don’t. In this article, we are going to look at some of the common bad habits we fall into, with some healthy alternatives to replace those things that are damaging us. We hope our suggestions help you.

Bad Habits

(source)

Bad Habit #1: Smoking cigarettes

You don’t need us to tell you that smoking is bad for you. There is the risk of cancer and respiratory diseases. There are health risks to those around you as they inhale your smoke. Your skin will suffer, your breath will smell, and you will face social isolation from those who have long since given up this bad habit.

Good Habits

  1. Consider vaping, the healthier alternative to nicotine. Thousands of people have made the leap, so there is a high success rate. You can buy vape kits and e-liquid from Vapeshop, as well as on your local high street.
  2. Practice meditation. Smoking is often attributed to stress and anxiety; the cigarette acting as a temporary relief for frayed nerves. Rather than reach for that cigarette, try some quick meditation techniques to steady your nerves and focus your willpower.

Bad Habit #2: Eating unhealthy food

Junk food isn’t good for us, but for many of us, these foods are often the first thing we reach for when we can’t be bothered/don’t have time to cook something healthy. We are putting our lives at risk, so alternatives need to be found.

Good Habits

  1. Fill your cupboards with healthy foods and snacks, reducing the temptation to reach for that chocolate bar or bacon sandwich. We appreciate a Mars Bar can often be the more appealing choice when you’re snacking, but there are healthier alternatives to satisfy your craving
  2. Grow your own food, eliminating the time you spend in the supermarket mulling over the unhealthier choices. There are other benefits to growing your own food, including the incentive to eat more fruit and vegetables as you have had a hand in nurturing them yourself.

Bad Habit #3: Watching too much tv

Okay, so there are loads of things to watch on the box these days, so this is one bad habit that is easy to fall into. Sitting on the sofa for hours won’t give us square eyes (that was an old wives tale), but there are other ways you are hurting your health if you are binge watching everything in sight.

Good Habits

  1. Make a tv planner. Using your tv guide, make a note of the tv shows you really want to watch, rather than sitting down in front of the tv for hours channel surfing until something takes your interest. Then set your recorder to record the must-see programmes, sitting down to watch them and only them when you want your tv fix.
  2. Do something else. Okay, so this is a bit vague, but our point is this. Rather than coming home and flopping in front of the tv, do something else with your time. Read a book, walk the dog, play with the kids, do some exercise, take up a craft hobby…anything to fill in your time that doesn’t involve your sweaty palms clutching a remote control.

Finally

Bad habits can rule our lives and ultimately hurt us. While we haven’t covered all bases, we hope our suggestions have been somewhat helpful to you. If you have experience of these or other bad habits and have found ways to overcome them, please share your tips with us. We can all benefit from each others advice.

The Pramshed