Find Motivation To Get Out Of The House – 11 Top Tips

Your coat stays on the hook. Your shoes stay by the door. The list of things you could do grows longer while your motivation gets smaller. You might even get your jacket or trainers and then think better of it.

I’ve had days like that.

Not because I was lazy. Not because I didn’t have things to do. But because life felt heavy, and the thought of getting ready, going somewhere, talking to people, or simply facing the outside world seemed exhausting. I experienced this in different chapters and think they all share one thing – overwhelm. Studies, parenting, marriage challenges and then grief – I am not the only woman who does such things and I know talking about these things can help other people.

If you’re a woman or mum who sometimes struggles to find the will to leave the house, you’re not alone.

Here are 11 things that have helped me when taking that first step felt tough.

1. Make the first step ridiculously small

Don’t tell yourself you’re going out.

Tell yourself you’re putting your socks or tights on.

That’s it.

The smaller the first step, the less likely your brain is to push back. Once you’ve put your socks on, you might decide to put your shoes on. Then your fleece.

Momentum often arrives after action, not before it. I didn’t believe this either but it works!

2. Give yourself a reason that’s just for you

Women and mums spend so much time doing things for other people.

School runs.

Shopping.

Appointments.

Household jobs.

Sometimes the motivation returns when the reason for leaving is something you actually want to do. Sometimes, getting out the door will remind you of who you were before the world and other people told you who you had to be.

A coffee.

A walk.

A visit to a favourite charity shop. This one saved me even if my son hates what he refers to as “tat.”

A browse around a garden centre. This one is not a big one for me but really helped my mum when she was physically and mentally unwell.

Small pleasures matter if they help you find the motivation to get out of the house. Only  describe them as guilty pleasures if that thought gives you a buzz.

3. Set a five-minute challenge

Tell yourself you’ll go out for just five minutes.

Not an hour.

Not an afternoon.

Five minutes or two if five feels like a stretch.

Knowing there’s an easy way back removes a lot of pressure. More often than not, once you’re out, you’ll stay longer because fears will evaporate as you get the joy  and perspective of seeing other people navigating their lives. Far better for us than sitting in and brooding.

Find a woman who inspires you if you like and look to her for little confidence lessons.

4. Keep a bag ready to grab

It’s amazing how much energy can be wasted looking for keys, tissues, a purse, or your glasses.

A ready-to-go bag removes a surprising amount of stress.

I have a canvas bag with a beach scene which reminds me to indulge in walks by the sea and to do this a lot.

When everything is already where it should be, leaving feels easier.

5. Forget trying to look perfect

Some of us accidentally convince ourselves that if we’re going out, we need to look presentable.

Hair done.

Make-up on if you wear it.

Perfect outfit.

The truth is most people are too busy thinking about themselves to notice. Think about how often you judge someone for their appearance. If you do, it is probably a fleeting thought of little significance.

You don’t need to be polished to deserve fresh air and Vitamin D. Other people’s opinions of you are not your business. Read that again. I struggled with this one but if you embrace it is so liberating.

A woman stopped me in a shop the other week to compliment my jacket and to tell me how I rocked it. We miss such moments if w don’t get out of the house.

6. Create a leaving-the-house ritual

Mine is often putting a book in my bag and spraying myself with Poison.

Simple rituals help signal to the brain that it’s time to move.

A favourite perfume, playlist, podcast or takeaway coffee can become a comforting cue.

7. Choose somewhere familiar

When motivation is low, don’t make things harder by choosing somewhere overwhelming.

Pick somewhere safe and familiar.

A local park.

A coffee shop.

The seafront.

A garden centre.

Places that require very little emotional effort are often enough to get you moving again. It is important to be seen for the authentic woman you are. Take up your rightful space in the world. If that’s not a way to find motivation to get out of the house, I don’t know what is. Stop playing small please.

8. Tell someone where you’re going

A quick message can make a surprising difference.

“I’m heading out for a walk.”

“I’m popping into town.”

Knowing someone else knows your plan can provide a little accountability and encouragement. It can also reassure your loved ones that you are OK and looking after yourself. Own oxygen mask on first and all that!

9. Give yourself permission to come straight home

Sometimes we don’t leave the house because we think we have to make a big event of it.

You don’t.

You can leave for ten minutes.

Walk around the block – this is how I started during my battle with post-natal depression.

Buy a loaf of bread or a pint of milk.

Come back. Make your elevenses a little ritual of its own.

It still counts towards the Vitamin D exposure, your steps and your quality of life.

10. Give yourself something to look forward to

A magazine.

A coffee.

A pastry.

A wander through the plant section.

A reward doesn’t have to be expensive. Many can be free such as a paddle, collecting conkers or visiting a library.

Having something pleasant waiting at the other end of the journey can be enough to get you through the door.

11. Remember that you matter too

This one is important.

Women, especially mums, become experts at putting everyone else first.

Eventually, our own needs end up at the bottom of the pile.

Getting out of the house isn’t selfish.

It’s not indulgent.

It’s not a luxury.

Sometimes it’s simply a necessary act of self-care.

You deserve fresh air.

You deserve a change of scenery.

You deserve a little space that belongs entirely to you.

Final Thoughts

If you’re struggling to leave the house today, be gentle with yourself.

You don’t need a complete transformation.

You don’t need endless motivation.

You only need one small step.

Open the door.

Stand outside for a moment.

Take a breath.

Then see what happens next.

Sometimes that’s all it takes.