The perfect wedding for me is one where the couple are genuinely celebrating their love for one another. If that is in place and all guests wish the couple well a wedding will be a lovely event. A mistake that I think is really common is for brides and grooms to forget their individual tastes in favour of whatever the latest wedding magazine or bridal blog has  to say. I find this quite sad as two people have fallen for the individual traits of their partner so it seems a shame that such individuality should be missing from the wedding details.

Venue

There was a time when your choices were pretty  much restricted to a church or a registry office. Nowadays you can match your venue to your personal tastes from castles to football grounds. Think creatively when selecting a venue and make it a venue as well as a day to remember.

Theme

What makes you tick as individuals and as a couple. Is there something that unites you such as a strong love of the Fifties or a passion for motorcycles. Whatever it is, could you make that the theme of your wedding? Once you have a theme, I find the details of wedding accessories fall into place quite easily. The theme can be very in your face or just hinted at subtly perhaps in the invitations and the decorations at your wedding reception.

Guests

It worries me that too many wedding guests are people that the couple feel that they ought to have attending rather than people they actually want to be there. I think there is a real danger of trying to please family members and work colleagues in this regard. Unless both partners genuinely want people there, it can lead to a lot of stress both  during the run-up and on the day itself. Similar feelings surround the selection of key players such as pageboys, bridesmaids and best men. Do it your way and anyone who cannot live with that does not care enough about your happiness clearly.

Food and drink

I remember a period in my twenties where I was going to a lot of apparently perfect weddings. Without being offensive, it did seem there was an awful lot of chicken dinners going on. Don’t get me wrong! I like chicken but does it have to be the go-to choice of every bride and groom. One thing I did at my wedding was to have fun burgers for the children and teenagers attending. That worked really well and my grown-up menu consisted of favourites of mine and my mum’s.

Entertainment

You will recognise my wish for all couples is that they do their perfect wedding their way. I have always hated evening dos with discos. They seem less intimate that the ceremony and the reception. Worse, all too often they are a way of inviting people that you actively did not want at the earlier part of the day. I think weddings can actually go on way too long with the bride and groom not to mention the guests exhausted and fed up by midnight. You may love a disco but if you would prefer ballroom dancing or a movie night or whatever floats your boat, why not? I would also caution against doing whatever the latest social media trend is which will almost inevitably date quickly and may not be to your taste at all.

So dear couple in love, please treat the wedding as you did selecting your partner in the first place. Know what you like and insist on it. If it makes you happy, your family and friends should be delighted. I would use this advice for all aspects on the wedding from the flowers to the cake, from the transport to the honeymoon.

Do you really want to have someone else’s perfect wedding?

 

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