21 essential resolutions for new mums come to you from a less than perfect mum who learned some of these lessons the hard way.

pregnancy

Take is as it comes

1. I will not have any set ideas about how my parenting journey will turn out
2. I will follow my instincts
3. I will ask for support clearly as soon as I need it
4. I will ensure I build in time for myself and my partner
5. I will say when people cross my boundaries telling me what to do with my child

Ask for and offer support

6. I will recognise that most mums struggle in some way and reach out to them
7. I will carve out quality one-on-one time with my other child/ren
8. I will celebrate my imperfections as they show I am human
9. I will know that if I am doing my best I am not a bad mum
10. I will recognise that the most challenging times will pass

It’s a balancing act

11. I will keep a balance between what is private and what is to be shared.
12. I will focus on enjoying memories not just recording them
13. I will recognise that parenting like life is a series of ups and downs
14. I will not assume that the mum who looks perfect actually is
15. I will know that money spent and happy moments do not necessarily mean the same thing

Celebrate your individuality

16. I will speak at to someone at the nursery/school gates even if I think it will kill me – it rarely does!
17. I will not expect my children to perform on demand
18. I will not apologise for my child being an individual
19. I will tap into online and offline support networks
20. I will never beat myself up or write myself off
21. I will know that I am blessed to be a mum even in the shitty moments and there will be plenty of those!

Suggestions for resolutions for new mums

What would you add to my list of essential resolutions for new mums at the embark on the parenting ride?

 

The Pramshed
Cuddle Fairy
This Mum's Life
diaryofanimperfectmum



Me, Being Mummy
Winnettes
My Random Musings

Lucy At Home

3 Little Buttons

What are the best bits of BritMums Live?

Yesterday I told you all the worst bits of my BritMums Live weekend so here goes with the really good stuff in no particular order.

Best Bits Of BritMums Live

1. I got a night away with Him Indoors whilst the little darlings went to stay with my step-daughter.  So whilst other bloggers were out to dinner, I was making the most of the hotel bedroom and remembering why we got together in the first place and hoping the walls were thick.

2. I got to meet Ruby Wax and she signed my book and spoke my name.  Be still my beating heart.  How wonderful of BritMums to put Ruby and the issues of mental health right up there at the start of the event.  A brave decision and one I applaud.

3. I started to see that there are many opportunities in blogging that I may not have quite understood before.  The future starts here and I think it may turn out to be rather marvellous.  I learned a lot from the panel session on the first day.

4.  I worked out that I want to start making proper strides in my writing.  Attending the Getting Published and E-Book sessions proved fruitful.

5. I got ever so slightly squiffy at the  Brilliance in Blogging Party and met and fell in love with  that Hayley one before she became world famous with her keynote the next day.  I am putting her autograph on ebay as we speak.

6. I did not win a Brilliance in Blogging Award which I was so pleased about as did not feel I deserved to do so having seen the other finalists.  Plus I would have tripped up the stairs in my drunken state and the pink Crocs wellies I had won.

7. I saw some of my fave bloggers and Penny Alexander and Mummy Whisperer  in particular get their awards and was very pleased for them, huge warm feelings of thrilledness.

8. I discovered Katy Hill and found her so funny, engaging and true.  She tells it like it is and I love anyone who does that particularly about the challenges of parenting.

9. I started to understand more about social media and search engine optimisation.  

10. I heard the wonderful Sarah Brown and she changed my life right there and then. 

11. Despite myself, I moderated the Blogging for the Greater Good session with what appears to be quite a degree of success.  Working with the lovely Michelle from BritMums made it that much easier.

12. I spent a lot of time over lunch with Polly Gowers from Give As You Live.  She speaks so much sense and I have that chat as one of my absolute highlights of the conference.

13. The food was amazing and sustaining as the whole event really too it out of you in terms of over-excitement, nerves and the rest.

14. I joined Ellen Arnison and Mammasaurus for the Sod the Stats!  Blogging for Happiness session.  Having survived the first speaking engagement in the morning, I felt much more chilled.  I managed to be me warts and all.  Whether that was a good or bad thing is for others to decide.

15. Although I had plenty o f wobbly moments, I pushed through them and spoke to people and did not sit shyly at the back in workshop sessions.  I also remembered that other folks would be shy too and when I spotted people who looked that way went up and spoke to them. 

16. I laughed and cried in the blogger keynote sessions with several stories resonating deeply with me particularly Karin’s about post-natal depression and Ellen’s about not slating ourselves for being bad mums when actually we do out best.

17. Someone said to me “Oh, you are one of them, aren’t you?”  Turned out they meant I was part of the BritMums team.  I am never quite sure how I managed to become part of that wonderful team but am really glad I did.  Susanna and her lovely colleagues have truly changed my life for the better and I thank them for that.

18. I met some of my blogging heros but also learned that there are a lot more out there to get to know better.

19. I felt like a somebody rather than a nobody.  It is so easy to lose sight of yourself as a mum.

20.  I hugged.  Yes, me, the most hung-up person in the world found herself fuelled by wine throwing herself on unsuspecting bloggers.  What can I say?  It was emotional.

What do you hope are you best bits of BritMums Live 2017?

 

What are the worst bits of BritMums Live?

There is so much to say about BritMums Live but, for today, I thought I would talk about the worst bits of my weekend.

Worst Bits Of BritMums Live

1. The journey down from Yorkshire was a nightmare with bad visibility and so much rain.  Despite getting up at 5am and setting off before 6am, I was badly delayed.

2. My dress on the first day which I had not worn before blowing up at even the slightest breeze.   Marilyn Monroe I am not.

3. Walking into the Brewery venue and my glasses steaming up.  Susanna from BritMums seeing my Milly Molly Mandy like entrance came womanfully to the rescue.

4. Not being able to find my badge on the table for speakers and wondering if being asked to speak was indeed an April Fool.

5. Sitting on a small croc and wondering if I really had **** myself.  It was actually a clue that I had won a pair of Crocs Wellies.

6. Having so much free wine that when I linked up with Him Indoors all thoughts of our planned romantic dinner disappeared and I crashed on the bed.

7. Seeing myself in the bathroom mirror in the hotel on emerging from the shower.  Why was the lighting so unforgiving?  Why is my tummy such an over-hanging, lumpy, bumpy let down?

8. The moments before my first speaking session at BritMums Live.  Think I was not the only person who thought I was going to bottle it completely.  Thank you panel members and Michelle from BritMums for somehow getting me through it.  Shout-out to Sarah Brown too for possibly the best advice on public-speaking I have ever heard.  A big emphasis on being yourself and not trying to be perfect.  Being myself I can pull off was my mantra throughout my sessions.

9.  Being reminded of why law was never the right career choice for me in one of the workshops.

10. The moment when on getting up from my panel member seat at the Blogging for Happiness session, I realised a boob had escaped from my maxi dress and worse I was not wearing a bra.  Hoping nobody noticed as imagine it was not a pretty sight.

So there you have the bad bits of BritMums Live a lot of which were good in some ways.  Tomorrow, you get my best bits and no boobies.

I am going to BritMums Live so I will AWOL and heading for London.

It wouldn’t be a normal week if I didn’t write down my reasons for smiling though so before I start panic packing, here are my positives this week.

1. I am going to BritMums Live tomorrow and Saturday.  It was touch and go for a while as my Dad had a health scare but all was well in the end.  I am looking forward to being in rather marvellous company and to relaxing as a grown-up for a little while.

2. I am cheerful that despite any negative self-talk, I am going to be involved in two of the workshops as a speaker and also womanning the Give As You Live/#mums4good stand at 1.45pm on the Saturday.  So if you have brickbats or bouquets, that is where you can find me.

3. I am really looking forward to hearing from Ruby Wax and Sarah Brown in particular on the celeb front.  I am also keen to learn a lot in the workshops I am attending.   I hear rumours of wine, beer and goody bags.  Who wouldn’t be cheerful?

4. Nobody has asked me out to dinner or anything on the Friday night but that is fine as I have the Brilliance in Blogging Party thing to attend and then will hook up in London with my husband for dinner and some precious and rare “us” time.

5. Even the idea of just being away and staying in a nice hotel is making me cheery.

6. My adult step-daughter is taking the children off my hands and I know they will be fine with her.

7. My Dad has changed his plans for the weekend so that he can look after the animals.

8.  I have other reasons to be happy this week but BritMums Live is the major one partly because it makes me realise just how far I have come in a year.  Last year I bottled going to CyberMummy.  This year through the support of some rather lovely ladies, I feel fine about coming along and playing my part.

It will be alright on the night, won’t it?!