women Archives - Kate on thin ice

Here’s a story from the amazing Amy describing her experiences with endometriosis and how it led to her changing her life in quite a radical way.

Endometriosis story

“When I was studying at the University of Manchester, I could imagine my future as nothing other than a dedicated teaching career – it was inconceivable for me to do anything else. I graduated and qualified as a Secondary teacher of Religious Studies and Geography in 2002 and plunged straight into a full time job as a newly qualified teacher.

A few years later, the stresses of a teaching career and an unidentified chronic illness started to kick in. During my early twenties, I couldn’t understand why I was feeling exhausted all of the time,and I just put it down to the fast-paced career. The long hours, the behaviour problems and the politics. I still loved being in the classroom with the kids, but it was taking it’s toll.

Symptoms of endometriosis

Over the next few years, I started to experience crippling abdominal pain and repeated kidney infections. I was feeling exhausted and depressed. I still loved my job, but had this overwhelming feeling of not being able to cope anymore. I was diagnosed with endometriosis in my mid-twenties without a real explanation of what it was or how to many the disease.

Impact of endometriosis

In the years that followed, I had time off work for agonising period pain, stress and depression, not realising that they were linked to the disease. In was then put on the hormonal injection depoprovera which made me gain weight, get insomnia and start to have panic attacks. I lost my job and split up with my long term partner without a true understanding of what was happening.

Thankfully, a year later, I managed to repair the relationship and got back together with my now fiance. I feel that all of the physical and emotional turmoil was due to the endometriosis and the NHS’s lack of ability to manage and treat the disease. I changed my endometriosis medication and attempted a new teaching job down south, near my
family in Oxford. I still loved teaching the kids about culture, religion and the world, but again just a few months in, I was struggling to cope. I started to suffer from migraines and short term memory loss, which looking back was probably related to the energy that it was taking to get through every day in pain. It was when I almost collapsed in front of a class, and came home physically shaking and being sick that I started to realise that my career might not be compatible with my condition.

I finally admitted defeat and put in my application to retire on medical grounds. With the support of my family I battled against several medical professionals who didn’t appear to know what they were talking about. A year later I successfully had my lower grade teachers pension approved. It was agreed that I could work, but I couldn’t teach, and therefore I was entitled to a basic pension to support myself after a 13 years career. It was heart-breaking, but also a relief at the same time.

Moving on positively after an endometriosis diagnosis

I then moved back up North and started to work for myself online doing blogging and social media. It was something that could fit in with my illness and I could even work from bed! I set up Trumpeter Media and did a BTEC in social media for business. I loved learning something new. Clients started to come to me for help, and also asked me to teach them!I have to admit that the transition was initially hard for me, and I found it difficult to move forward. I
had two laparoscopic surgeries and I’m currently awaiting a full excision surgery and bowel resection.

Don’t quit!

Quite often, though, high impact events shake you up and force you to realise what is important in life. I knew that more than anything, I wanted to travel. The following summer I travelled solo through Turkey and Bulgaria, and it was the most liberating and amazing experience ever. Travelling solo, I was so proud of myself. | was doing something I was passionate about, and doing something completely for myself. In the two years that followed, I travelled to the Philippines, Sweden, Denmark, Iceland, Morocco and Israel. I loved it so much that I wanted to document my trip for people back home, and I loved to focus on historical and religious sites. And so my beloved
blog, Temple Seeker was born.

Looking back, I believe that everything happens for a reason. Now that I am essentially a digital nomad and can set my own itinerary and work schedule, I couldn’t imagine going back to long hours stuck in a classroom. The world is ready to be explored, and I now love what I do more than anything. Earning money on my laptop while I blog for Temple Seeker and travelling the world is truly the dream!”

I love how Amy’s story shows that with the right diagnosis and treatment of a heath issue life can improve. I love her enthusiasm for travel and how she shares that with other people. Here’s to changing direction when it works out so well!

Have you changed your life after a health issue hit?

It takes a lot for the women I feature to share their stories so openly so please do hit one or more of the sharing is caring buttons below.

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What are the things that make women inspirational?

What makes a woman inspirational will of course vary a little according to the individual concerned. Inspirational is one of those words that is a little intangible and you can bet your bottom dollar that if you tell someone they are inspirational they will argue that they are not.

Things that make women inspirational

Here are my ideas on what makes a woman inspirational and I would love to know what you think.

1. She speaks honestly and openly.

2. She describes genuine feelings which helps others to feel less isolated.

3. She is not scared to tackle the taboo or uncomfortable issues.

4. She accepts that women have a right to do their own research and to decide on the best course of action for them.

5. She does not big herself up.

6. She counts her blessings.

7. She is likely to have overcome great difficulties and obstacles.

8. She focuses more on others rather than worrying about what others think about her

9. She will give advice but not insist people take it.

10. She asks for support when she needs it

11. She keep on keeping on

12. She has learned to take time out and relax for her own wellbeing and so that after a break she can get back to changing things for the better.

13. She knows as life changes, she may have to rediscover or reinvent herself

14. She will challenge the status quo

15. She will go out of her comfort zone

16. She will remember and honour those who helped her on her journey.

17. She makes things happen

18. She knows she does not have all the answers so she has the ability to listen and learn

10. She is resourceful seeking out the right knowledge, equipment, contact, skills, qualities or person.

20. She is the one of those special individuals who just get on and do it whilst everyone else is talking about it.

21. She counts herself amongst generous spirits happy to share what they have learned along the way.

22. She smiles and can be fun to have around.

23. She creates memorable moments.

Where are they?

So who are these inspirational women? You will find them amongst the creators and the campaigners. You will also find them in business, in the public sector and in charities. You will also them amongst the stay at home mums a lot. I bet you can name one in your own head right now.

Over to you, what does make women inspirational?

So do you know an inspirational woman and what does she mean to you?

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When I first started blogging, I had no idea that people would actually comment on my posts. I certainly did not expect to find like minds or to make new friends. For those who don’t know, I just started blogging as my Mum sat up into the early hours fuelled by whisky telling me that I had always wanted to be a writer and it was about time I started. She issued the now infamous words “Even if you just keep a diary” and that is how my blogging journey began.

It was many months later that I discovered blogging networks existed and even longer before a public relations company approached me about reviewing a product.

I had no clue on all the bells and whistles technology of blogging and I still have a lot to learn.

That is is the background to my blogging. Three years later I find myself nominated in several categories of the Britmums Brilliance in Blogging Awards. Not only that but I have made the shortlist for the ourstanding, inspire and change categories.

When bloggers are nominated for awards, it is lovely but also makes their life a bit challenging for a while. Should they mention that votes are welcome and if so, where and how often? Should they keep a dignified silence or does that suggest they don’t care including about the people who bothered to back them? Bloggers are individuals and some will need an ego-stroke of a nomination or a vote more than others for all sorts of reasons. Some bloggers want to monetise their blogs and think that an award will help with that. It is all a bit complicated.

Then bloggers being bloggers and women being women, little controversies start emerging.

So here is what I think just in case any of the people who read my blog are interested in my view.

You should vote for me in the Brilliance in Blogging Awards if you want to do so and also have the time to do so. I won’t lose sleep if nobody votes for me but equally really appreciate anybody who bothers to do so.

I did not nominate myself and I won’t be voting for myself. I don’t criticise anyone who takes a different approach. This is just what I decided to do this year.

I won’t tell you which categories I would ideally like you to vote me for as it is up to you. My personal view is that I do not deserve to win one category at all, that another it depends on how you judge such things and the other I can see reasons why people would think I fit in that but can also see that other blogs in that category are equally worthy. As I write that, I realise that others would have different opinions on each of those. We are individuals.

I am not the best blogger. I am not particularly high up the rankings. My blog serves me first and foremost and then I try to help others because having an audience, I feel I should do some good with that.

Inevitably, where there are shortlists, sometimes you love two or more blogs on the list but can only vote for one. That is really challenging. Personally, when I did my nominations, it took me hours and hours and you just had to leave out some blogs you really wanted to vote for. That is the nature of the beast.

Bloggers are individuals. They take individual approaches to what they blog about, to who they share their blog with, to networking, to reviews and events and to monetising their blogs. You can expect bloggers, therefore, to take individual approaches when they hear news of awards.

I have always thought prizes and awards are a good thing in all arenas for driving up quality and recognising effort. The Brilliance in Blogging Awards gets people talking about blogging which has to be a very good thing. They also demonstrate the diversity of parent blogging today and that gives folks new ideas too.

And those are my last words on the subject of nominating and voting on the #bibs.

How do I start a post when I am still a little in shock from yesterday’s events?

For those who missed it, we held a Twitter party using the hashtag #groovymums. If you are a #groovymums you are officially on trend according to Twitter.

The original idea was to acknowledge that the Groovy Mums blog hop and online support network established in September 2011 was 6 months old.

I thought most of the participants of the groovy mums blog hop would take part and maybe a few interested observers. I was amazed to see loads of people joining in and some very interesting debates and chats taking place.

At some point in the party and yes I was sober but my head was still spinning, people started to tell me that #groovymums was trending at number 2 on Twitter. This still seems very surreal to me but does at least show the power of mums when we get together and tell our stories.

Topics covered included ..

How to combat the isolation many mums feel

How to still have your own identity when you become a mum

How powerful or powerless mums are in society

How peer support can help mums move forwards in their lives

How media images and the celebrity culture affect how mums feel about themselves

What things get left behind when you become a mum and whether you can recover some of them

The hopes, dreams and aspirations of mums

How to increase energy levels and feel better physically

How to tackle mental health issues including post-natal depression and where to access support

Mums’ self-image

How to get involved in volunteering and how it might benefit mums

How to get back to work or into self-employment

How to get involved in learning

How mums can carve out me time and what mechanisms help them to do so

Whether partners and children can benefit when a mum puts herself first sometimes.

As you can see, it was an awful lot to get through in one hour.

I would like to thank so many people but if feels like the Oscars where I could end up writing for ages as so many people helped. Particular thanks go to the parenting and blogging networks (Tots 100, Britmums, Love All Blogs, Mumsnet, Netmums). None of this would have happened without those women in the last 6 months who have joined in with the Groovy Mums blog hop. Personally, huge thanks go to Hayley, Louise, Caroline and Kat who are always there to put me back together again when I need it. Finally, to each and every person who promoted or took part in or get in touch about the Groovy Mums Twitter Party.

Now for some more questions so please leave a comment, contact me on kateonthinice@gmail.com or tweet me @kateonthinice

1. Should we have another party or regular parties? If so how often and what time suits people best?

2. Do you have any particular topics you would like to see covered via Groovy Mums?

3. Do you think you might link up blog posts to the Groovy Mums blog hop?

4. Would you like to take on a new role with Groovy Mums? It will be unpaid but might be rewarding in other ways or enhance your blog profile. If you are interested in this, please email me and I will be in touch by the end of the week with more information.

5. If you are an organisation or business, would you like to link up or partner with Groovy Mums in some way? I am very open to ideas so drop me an email. It would be lovely, for example, to see some prizes offered to participants at the next party.

Groovy Mums continues to evolve so all ideas and feedback are most welcome.

In them meantime, if you have a blog or website, you are most welcome to use the Groovy Mums badge which you will find in the sidebar.

If you think that the party was inspiring, changed things and/or stood out, you might want to consider voting in the Brilliance in Blogging Awards using the bright pink buttons on the right. Thank you.

Dear Kate On Thin Ice

I am emailing you to tell you why you should not get a single nomination for a Britmums Brilliance in Blogging Awards 2012.

Firstly, the name of your blog is annoying. A silly play on words which you admit was inspired by reality television. If you must blog, your mind should be in higher places that the latest Sunday night ITV hit. Bloggers should be intellectual types or not bother.

Secondly, you host that Groovy Mums blog hop thing. I hate the word “groovy” which reminds me of the ghastly decade of the Seventies. My dear, we have moved on from those days. Having said that, to encourage mums to devise a life of their own when they have young children to care for is scandalous. Mums should give up their interests when they have children. If you couldn’t do that, you should not have become a mother in the first place.

Perhaps the main thing that irritates me about your blog is what you call openess and I call over-sharing. What makes you think we want to know about your thoughts and feelings? How very arrogant of you. We really don’t care. Please keep your emotional struggles and dark days to yourself. We don’t want to hear about them. How many times must we hear that your blog was the idea of your late mother? That woman has a lot to answer for.

You are also supposed to develop a niche if you want blogging success and yet you have a confusing content ranging from charity shop finds to recipes. We never know whether you will be posting pictures of your children or ranting about the role of women in society. The constant banging on about charities gets a little wearing too.

The sheer audacity that led to you taking off your clothes on your “Who is Kate and Why Is She On Thin Ice?” page leads me to believe you must be the weirdest of exhibitionists and this from a woman purports to lack self-confidence.

Reeling from a naked picture of you that I really didn’t need or want to see, I was bombarded with your “What Are My Skills and Experiences?” post. Why would we be interested in those? We all have them you know. You are not all that.

I pity those good bloggers whose blog hops you join in with regularly. I imagine they hate seeing that stupid blog name pop up on their linkies and if they look at your posts at all, read with their hands over their eyes as to what nonsense you will be coming out with this time. The same thing will apply to those poor souls whose blogs you read and comment on.

Might I suggest that instead of putting the pink badge on your blog sidebar in the vain hope that someone will nominate you for a Britmums Brilliance in Blogging Award, you close the blog down altogether and go and make Victoria Sandwich for those poor children of yours.

Best Regards

A Blogger With Boundaries and Brainpower.