Dating for the more mature person can be a daunting process. You may feel you have missed the love boat having not yet found the one that fairy tales promise. You may have experienced relationship breakdown or divorce. You may still be grieving for the loss of a partner.
The good news is that it is never too late to find love and companionship again. For months now I have seen an older man come into my local pub. He has friends but always appears to not join in with the banter and I sensed he was lonely. Last weekend it was lovely to see him arrive clearly very loved-up with a new woman. They were delighting in each the company and I was very pleased for them.
So what would I say are top tips for someone wanting to try out mature singles dating to inject a little sunshine into their life.
Have confidence in yourself
As an older person you will have many stories and life experiences to share. You will have special qualities and impressive skills. You will have a rich personality so you should absolutely know that you are worthy of love and approach dating with as much confidence as you can muster. If you are giving off the idea that you are no good the chances of you finding a partner are that much more limited. Love yourself and then tell your admirers to form an orderly queue.
It is scary to put yourself out there but you really should feel the fear and do it anyway. You may be rejected but don’t risk not finding out if that person you adored did not feel exactly the same way. Most people are flattered if someone likes them and older people are that much kinder at letting people down gently in my experience. As I heard someone say recently, it is far better to risk the immediate pain of rejection which may not happen anyway than to spend years wondering about what might have been. Regret is way more painful in the longer-term than rejection.
Enjoy flirting again
Flirting is such a fun thing to do and makes you feel young and alive. When you flirt, you boost the ego of the person you are flirting with. If it leads to romance and love so much the better but if it doesn’t at least you will have had a little fun along the way. You can flirt online and then work up to a flirtatious date. Make eye contact, play with your hair and indulge in some banter and see where it leads!
Be clear about what you are looking for
As we get older we realise love is found in the most unlikely places and with the most unlikely people. We are hopefully far clearer about the type of person who fits with what we are looking for. Some people will be looking for a fine old-fashioned romance hoping that at some point a marriage will follow. Others are dating cougars who prefer the appeal of younger men. There are specialist dating sites including for those older women looking for a younger date.So long as everyone is open and honest, relationships work better. It’s OK to say what you are looking for and to communicate that clearly.
Get online dating
Too may older people think online dating is only for the very young. This is a total misconception. Apparently the biggest growth segment age wise for online daters is for people over 40 and 50. Online dating is great because you can search for exactly the type of person you are looking for. It is also a safe way of making initial contact and doing some investigation before you meet in the real world.
Dating when you are over 40 years of age has so many benefits. You are clearer on who you are and what you like to spend your time doing. You know what you will and perhaps more vitally what you won’t accept in a date. You will have probably have had a number of relationships and learned a lot from them. You will have probably worked out that nobody is perfect and be a little more forgiving of yourself and others. You are likely to have a bit more disposable income so you can invest in some really fun times with your date. You will have the confidence to know that although it is lovely to have a love interest you can manage without one whilst you find one that suits your needs.
Go forth and enjoy dating!