My personal highs and lows of 2019

Every New Year I like to look back at the previous year and to encourage other bloggers to do so. It can help make sense of the negative stuff and remind you to celebrate the great things in life too. If you would like to take part either as a blogger or in your own right in your own heart and mind, check out this post. Here are my personal highs and lows of 2019 and you will find another blogger’s review of 2019 interesting too.

Personal highs and lows of 2019

What was your happiest event?

Seeing my oldest son return to education. He was a little lost and then with me letting him go and my brother taking him under his wing, great strides were made. It was a bumpy ride for a while but he is now at college, enjoying his studies and making new friends.

What was the saddest thing to happen?

My son left home to live overseas. I know this had to happen and was the best thing for him. I know I am lucky that when he left I lost the company of my best friend as well as my son. However, it was very much like a bereavement and there are still days when I really struggle. I am terrified of losing him altogether. I have no idea if there is a right way to communicate now he is not living with me. I guess this is empty nest syndrome and like other mothers I will just have to get on with things in his absence. I miss his rants, our walks and just everything about him really.

What was the most unlikely thing to happen that actually went ahead and did?

I became pet-free.

Who let you down?

Somebody lied to me about a really important matter. I completely understand now why my late mum thought lying was the worst sin. It destroys trust and dismantles relationships.

Who supported you?

I have had amazing support this year from family members and friends in the real and online world. I have had financial support, offers of housing and even a job. In the middle of the year I hit a very wobbly and distressing patch. They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and I can feel me getting stronger one baby step at a time.

Tell us what you learned.

I learned that I may be enough after all. I have worked out I need to focus on my own future.

Tell us what made you laugh

I laugh a lot in this place with friends I never expected to make but who have my heart. My youngest son makes me laugh with his clever wordplay. My daughter makes me laugh with her feisty ripostes.

Tell us the things that made you cry

Lies and rejection. Loneliness.

Tell us three things your child or children did to make you feel proud. 

My oldest son boarded a plane and started his adult like without me. He was firm about what he wanted to do and did not want to do. He has demonstrated this year that he is very much his own man. He is working hard and has adapted to his new normal.

My daughter makes me proud with her sense of justice, feminist views and creativity. I am most proud of her overcoming her social anxiety even in one potentially threatening environment.

My youngest son make me proud with his firm desire to be a chef. He is also the wisest person in the family in so many ways as well as a comic genius.

Tell us the things that made you proud of yourself.

Supporting others on  their life journeys.

The fact I did not hide under a duvet for months after my son left home.

Keeping on keeping on with a new focus on me!

Tell us the challenges you overcame

I took a good hard look at my life and dealt with financial and housing challenges.

That gives me a foundation of sorts for big changes this year that are scary but essential.

Tell us the things you would like to change about your life in 2020

I would like to build on a burgeoning self-belief.

I would like to see all my children in some sort of formal learning.

I would like a new challenge on the work front.

I would like to keep a special promise to my daughter about her birthday.

I would like to see my oldest son again.

I would like to help my youngest  son make progress towards his dream to be a chef.

There are other things too but I am going to take those gently rather than make any of those daft resolution things.

So there you have my personal highs and lows of 2019. I have come to the conclusion that we all have good and bad times in these lives of ours.  Questions can help us look back and learn. The trick as Eamonn Holmes often says is to make sure that when you fall you get back up again.

Wishing all my readers an amazing 2020!