We have an ageing population and that means you may be considering moving your elderly relatives into your own home. My grandparents did this when my great-grandma suffered a stroke aged 43. When my mum died, I moved house to enable my dad to come and live with us. This post shares tips for if you move your elderly parents into your home.
Consider if you will get on
There is no place to hide once you are sharing the same space. It is vital not only that your parents get on with you but also that they like your partner and can cope with having your children around all the time. That way you will be sharing fabulous memories that you can capture with the Analog Camera Company or in your journal. My advice would be that open and honest communication is key. Don’t avoid the more difficult issues and conversations. Your teenager may not take kindly to a grandparent telling them what to do. The noise of a baby or younger children may annoy an older person. How much care will your relative want or accept?
What will work now may not work in the future. It’s important for you to all do a bit of predicting what might happen and how you would handle the situation. What if your partner feels neglected? What if your children resent helping with care needs?
Assess current and future care needs
Ask your relatives about their medical conditions and any care needs. Be aware care needs change and are likely to increase over time. In the 2 years my dad lived with me he went from fit and active to a frail old man. Towards the end I struggled to meet his needs and my brother took over allowing me to focus on my children. Might your elderly parents need adaptations to your home such as a home elevator lift or handrails?
People living together can reduce some areas of expenditure with the sharing of bills. However, the more people in a house the more food, fuel and water bills are likely to be. Some adaptations to the home, a granny annex or nursing care come at a high cost. You might be spending more to get your loved ones to where they need to be such as hospital appointments or respite care.
Try and make an agreement about finances in advance. Ask your parents about any relevant insurances they have from companies like Volpefinancialsolutions.com or similar. Try and ensure any debts are cleared too taking advice from one of the money advice charities if necessary.
Don’t try to do everything yourself. Speak to your local authority about the assessments they can do and the help they can offer to your family. Check out the charities for unpaid carers some of which have online forums where you can talk to others in your situation. Social media groups also exist that can offer emotional support and tips for coping when looking after your elderly parents.
Are you considering multi-generational living? What are your key concerns about this?